A New Skyline, A New Me

The day my admissions results came in, I ran into the living room with my laptop still open in my arms. "Mom, Dad, I got into Bedford University. Now I'll finally be in the same city as Derek and Grayson." No one answered. The living room was empty. A city-shaped magnet from Bedford was stuck to the fridge door. Grayson Whitfield had given it to me the year before. "Once you get in," he'd told me, "I'll take you all over the city." I'd held on to that promise like a lifeline, using it to push through one sleepless night after another. But now, three plane ticket order receipts sat tucked beneath that same magnet. Mom. Dad. My sister. Destination: Bedford. I stood there for a long moment before I noticed the new video posted in the family group chat. My brother, Derek Radley, was pulling my sister's suitcase along, smiling in a way I hadn't seen in a while. "Welcome to Bedford, Amber. Time to get you started on the Foundation Program." Grayson stood beside her, holding out a bouquet of sunflowers. "Is Claire going to be mad at me?" Amber asked, sounding small. Grayson only laughed. "She won't. She's sensible. She always is." My fingertips went cold, one degree at a time. Chapter 1 So this was it. The city I'd fought so hard to reach, and they'd already taken someone else there in my place. My phone buzzed. Mom had finally remembered I existed. Mom: [Don't post about your acceptance in the group chat.] Mom: [Amber's finally in a good mood. Don't you dare steal her spotlight.] Grayson Whitfield chimed in right after. Grayson: [Be good. You already scored higher than her. Don't fight her for attention on top of that.] The Bedford magnet on the fridge chose that moment to fall. It hit the floor and split cleanly in two. I crouched down and picked up the pieces. I didn't cry. I just realized, all of a sudden, how far away Bedford felt. Too far. I didn't want to go anymore. … "Claire, you didn't change the code on that pink suitcase, did you?" My brother Derek Radley's voice came through the phone, an airport announcement echoing somewhere behind him. I was crouched by a trash can, turning the broken halves of the Bedford magnet over in my hand. "Zero-five-two-one." That was my sister Amber Radley's birthday. It was mine too. But in this family, every password only ever stood for her. I heard the suitcase latch pop open on the other end of the line, followed by Amber's whiny complaint. "Derek, my sunscreen leaked all over everything." "It's fine," Derek said, his voice gentle. "I'll have Grayson take you to buy more at the counter later." The phone changed hands. Grayson's low voice came through instead. "Claire, why won't you pick up my video calls? "Amber's starting the Foundation Program here in Bedford. The dorms don't have air conditioning. "Transfer me that ten-thousand-dollar scholarship of yours. I'll rent her a place with underfloor heating." I walked over to the sink and turned on the tap. Cold water ran over my fingertips. "I already used the money for my tuition." There was a beat of silence on the other end, then Grayson's voice dropped. "Claire, if you're going to lie, at least come up with something better. "Bedford University just sent out its acceptance letters. What tuition are you even talking about? That scholarship money is sitting right there, and you know it." He always did this — so certain he understood everything about me. "Amber isn't well. You're at the main campus. Your dorm's fine. Can't you cut her some slack for once?" I pulled a tissue free and slowly dried the water from my hands. "I already spent it." "Spent it on what?" "Things." "Claire!" His patience was gone. "How did you get so selfish? Amber's been crying every day since her exam scores came back. And you're her sister — instead of caring, you're sitting here nitpicking over money?" I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes weren't red. My face was perfectly calm. "You took her on a trip to Bedford and didn't even tell me." I said it quietly. Grayson heard it anyway, and let out a sigh. "We didn't tell you because we didn't want you overthinking it. "You got into Bedford University. You're the whole family's pride and joy. "Amber feels inferior. We just wanted some time alone with her, to help her build a little confidence. "You're strong. It's not like you can't handle a few days home alone." I listened to all of it without a word. So this was how they saw it. Doing well was my original sin. Because I was strong, I didn't need company, didn't need celebrating. I didn't even deserve the scholarship I'd earned with my own hands. "I understand." I said it softly. Grayson took it as a surrender, and his tone warmed right back up. "Good girl. Be reasonable. Go ahead and transfer the money to your mom so she doesn't have to worry about it. I've got to go — Amber wants roast duck." The call cut off. The dial tone echoed through the empty living room. I didn't send the money. Instead, I turned and walked back to my room, opened my laptop, and logged into the university application portal. Bedford University took early admissions. But before final placement was locked in, there was still one option left: a campus transfer. I clicked through to the page. My cursor hovered between "Main Bedford Campus" and "Meridian Campus." Meridian was a newly built satellite campus, more than a thousand miles from home. None of the glamour of Bedford. And no Grayson. I gripped the mouse and, without a second's hesitation, checked the box for the Meridian campus. Click. Changes confirmed. I closed the laptop, turned around, and pulled my suitcase out of the closet. I started packing my clothes away, piece by piece. The heavy down jackets I'd bought specifically for Bedford's winters went straight back into the bottom of the closet. Meridian was warm. I wouldn't need those anymore. My phone buzzed once on the bed. A new message in the family group chat. Mom had sent a photo of Amber, wearing the new necklace Grayson had bought her, grinning from ear to ear. Caption: [Amber's in such a good mood today.] I didn't reply. I just muted the chat. Chapter 2 Three days later, the front door swung open. The living room filled instantly with noise and laughter. "Bedford is so dry. I put on a dozen face masks these past few days, and it still didn't help," Mom complained, kicking off her shoes. Derek trailed in behind her, arms loaded with shopping bags. "As long as Amber's happy. She's had much better color in her cheeks these past few days." I was sitting on the couch with a book in my hands. When they saw me, the laughter cut off. The room went stiff for a moment. Mom's eyes swept over the spotless coffee table, and her brow furrowed. "Claire, we've been out for days, exhausted, and you can't even pour us a glass of water?" I closed my book and stood. "There's water in the kettle." Mom shot me a look and turned to get herself a cup. Amber peeked out from behind Derek. She was wearing a brand-new designer dress and a pair of limited-edition sneakers — all trophies from the Bedford trip. "Don't be mad at Mom and Dad, sis." Her voice went small. "It was my idea for them to come with me. If you're going to be upset with anyone, blame me." Derek immediately stepped in front of her, shielding her. "Why are you apologizing to her? What right does she have to be upset?" He turned to me, his eyes sharp. "Claire, what's with the attitude you've been giving everyone this week? Amber's about to start her prep program. She's under enough pressure already — can't you cut her some slack?" I looked at my own brother. Blood relation and all. For as long as I could remember, whenever Amber cried, I was the one in the wrong. "I haven't given anyone an attitude," I said evenly. "Then what about your scholarship money?" Mom came back over, cup in hand. "Grayson said to transfer it over so Amber could rent an apartment. Why didn't you? Do you have any idea she cried half the night because she couldn't get that place with underfloor heating?" I looked at Mom's face, so certain she was in the right. "I earned that money working odd jobs late at night, scraping and saving. Why should I hand it over to her?" Mom set the cup down hard on the coffee table. "Because she's your sister! You got into a good enough school that you'll be able to tutor your way to plenty of money later. Amber doesn't have your foundation. Is it so much to ask that you help your own sister out a little?" Just then, Grayson pushed the door open and walked in. He was holding a sleek silver gift box — the newest drawing tablet, the one I'd been eyeing for six months straight and never let myself buy. I was studying design. I needed that tablet badly. Grayson had promised me, once upon a time, that if I got into Bedford University, he'd give me one as a gift for getting in. He walked to the center of the room, his eyes sliding right past me and landing on Amber. "Amber. Here's your tablet." Amber let out a delighted shriek and threw her arms around his. "Thank you, Grayson. You're the best." He reached over and ruffled her hair, his eyes soft with affection. I stood where I was, staring at that silver box. Grayson finally turned to look at me. "Claire, your old tablet still works fine. Money's tight for me right now, just starting out. Don't be petty about it. Once you're a sophomore, I'll use my year-end bonus to get you a new one." That was always how he did things. Using the gentlest tone to deliver the most one-sided decisions. I didn't make a scene. I didn't ask why. I just gave a small, even nod. "Fine. I won't be petty about it." Grayson blinked, caught off guard. In the past, something like this would have had me arguing back, eyes brimming. He liked watching me pout and sulk over him, then graciously toss me some small comfort afterward, like I should be grateful for it. But today, I said nothing. I just turned and walked toward my room. As the door clicked shut, I heard Derek scoff behind me. "Good. At least she knows her place." I leaned back against the door and looked at my suitcase, already packed and waiting. Inside, there was nothing but a few old clothes and that same tablet with the cracked screen. It didn't matter. The sunlight in Meridian was good enough. I didn't need any of this borrowed shine. Chapter 3 The celebration dinner was set for the weekend. At the city's finest hotel, the whole banquet hall was rented out for the occasion. A welcome sign stood by the entrance, huge words printed across it. "Congratulations to Amber Radley on her acceptance into Bedford University's Foundation Program." My name was squeezed into the bottom corner, the font so small it was almost unreadable. Relatives streamed in one after another. Mom and Dad stood at the door, beaming, greeting everyone who arrived. "Amber really is something — that Foundation Program is no joke to get into." "She had Grayson's help studying, that's the real reason." Aunt Doris, my father's younger sister, came over and took Amber's hand, gushing over her without end. Then she turned, spotted me sitting off in the corner, and gave a perfunctory smile. "Claire's done well too. You'll be looking out for your sister once you're both in Bedford." I looked down at the plain glass of water in front of me and said nothing. The banquet began. The emcee stood on stage, working the microphone with theatrical enthusiasm. Amber was called up, wearing the designer dress Grayson had bought her. "Thank you, Mom and Dad." Her voice cracked a little. "But the person I owe the most to is Grayson." She turned, blushing, toward the head table where he sat. "If it weren't for him cheering me on the whole way, I never would have made it through senior year." Applause thundered through the room. Every set of eyes in the hall drifted back and forth between the two of them, thick with implication. Grayson sat at the head table, a faint smile tugging at his mouth. I sat at the farthest table from the stage, among a scattering of relatives who barely visited us in ordinary times. They ate snacks and traded gossip in lowered voices. "It's strange, isn't it, how the Radleys are doing this. Their older girl got into a real program, no party at all, but they're throwing this whole thing for the younger one's prep track." "You don't get it. The younger one's pretty, and she knows how to talk sweet. Who knows how well she'll marry one day." "I bet that Whitfield boy already has his eye on her." I speared a bite of coleslaw with my fork and ate it. Too salty. A hotel server wheeled out a three-tiered cake. Grayson walked up to the stage and took the knife. He held Amber's hand, and together they cut the first slice. Then he carried that slice straight over to where I was sitting. "Claire, Amber said this first piece has to go to you. She knows you've been upset the last few days." He looked down at me. "Eat it. Everyone's watching today. Don't humiliate Amber." I looked at the cream-slathered slice on the plate in front of me. Amber stood on the stage, watching me with wide, expectant eyes. I didn't touch the fork. "I'm not really into sweets." Grayson's expression darkened instantly. "You're determined to make a scene today, is that it?" Just then, Amber came rushing over, holding up the hem of her dress. "Claire, are you still upset that I took the tablet Grayson gave you?" Her eyes went red, panicked, and she reached out to grab my arm. "I really didn't mean to. I'll give it back to you, okay?" She moved too fast and knocked her elbow hard against the edge of the table. The plate of cake tipped over instantly, landing squarely on the front of my only white dress. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Claire!" Amber shrieked, clapping a hand over her mouth and stumbling back. Derek came charging over and shoved me aside, pulling Amber protectively into his arms. "Amber was being nice, bringing you cake, and you shoved her?" I staggered from the push, the small of my back knocking against the edge of a chair. I felt a dull, aching pain. I steadied myself. I looked at my furious brother in front of me, and at Grayson's openly disapproving face. "I didn't push her." "Still trying to argue your way out of it!" Derek jabbed a finger at the stain spreading across my dress. "So what if she ruined one outfit of yours? Amber didn't do it on purpose." Mom rushed over too, glaring daggers at me. "Today, of all days, and you have to go and cause trouble?" I looked down at the ugly red stain soaking into the fabric, a stain that would never wash out. A strange numbness settled over me. An overwhelming, total numbness. I didn't go to the restroom to clean up. Instead, I picked up the canvas bag hanging off the back of my chair. "I'm not causing trouble. I'm leaving." Chapter 4 "Claire!" Grayson's voice came from behind me, thick with barely-contained anger. I didn't stop. I kept walking, straight out through the hotel's front doors. The summer night air hit me, warm and a little stifling. Grayson caught up and grabbed my wrist. "Where do you think you're storming off to now? "Amber's happy today, all the relatives are here, and you have to embarrass everyone?" I stopped and turned to face him. His shirt had come untucked, rumpled from shielding Amber earlier. I didn't pull away. I just looked back at him, perfectly calm. "Grayson, my dress is ruined." He blinked, his eyes dropping to the mess on my skirt. "So go wash it off. Amber didn't mean it — do you really have to be this petty about it? You didn't used to be like this, Claire. Why have you gotten so bitter?" Bitter. I almost laughed. So now, I wasn't even allowed to feel wronged over a ruined dress. "I'm not washing it." I peeled his fingers off my wrist, one at a time. "I don't want this dress anymore." Grayson looked down at his empty hand, his frown deepening. "Where are you going?" "Home." I flagged down a cab, pulled the door open, and got in. The car pulled away. In the rearview mirror, Grayson's figure shrank smaller and smaller. … Two days later was move-in day. The house was in chaos from early morning. The living room was piled with Amber's luggage — seven or eight suitcases at least. Mom and Dad rushed back and forth, and Derek checked items off a list. "Did you pack her cold-weather coat? Bedford winters are brutal." "Packed it, packed it. Humidifier's in there too." I came out of my room dragging a small carry-on suitcase. No one noticed. Grayson pulled up downstairs. He came up and helped carry the bags, trip after trip, until the trunk and the back seat were both stuffed full of Amber's things. I stood by the front door, my small suitcase in hand. Grayson wiped the sweat from his forehead, walked over, and glanced at my bag. "Claire, the car's full. You don't have much stuff. Bedford isn't far — just take the train yourself. "Once you get there, text me. I'll come get you after I've settled Amber in." Derek chimed in from the side. "Yeah, you've always been independent, not like Amber, who gets lost even in our neighborhood. You'll be fine on your own." Mom and Dad didn't even look back — still double-checking that nothing had been left behind. My fingers tightened around the suitcase handle. Then, slowly, they loosened. "Fine." Grayson gave my hair an approving ruffle. "Good girl. Once we're settled in Bedford, I'll take you out for a big dinner." They swept Amber up between them and headed downstairs. The sound of the car engine faded into the distance. The house fell completely silent. I took out my phone and looked at the plane ticket in my booking app. Two hours from now, I would be on a flight to Meridian. … By three in the afternoon, the gates of Bedford University's main campus were packed with people. Grayson stood in the shade of a tree by the entrance, two bottles of cold water in hand. He glanced down at his phone. No new messages. He frowned and dialed my number. "We're sorry, the number you have dialed is switched off." Grayson kicked irritably at a pebble on the ground. Derek walked over and handed him a tissue. "Claire's still not here?" "Her phone's off," Grayson said with a cold huff. "She's probably still sulking, ignoring my calls on purpose." "That girl's temper keeps getting worse," Derek grumbled. "Forget her. Once she's dragging her suitcase around, lost somewhere in Bedford, she'll be the one crying." Grayson kept his eyes fixed on the crowd, scanning every girl who stepped out of a cab. … Meanwhile, a thousand miles away in Meridian, the sun was warm and bright. I stood at the new-student check-in table at Meridian University, my small suitcase beside me. The upperclassman running registration handed me a sign-in sheet and a pen. "Sign right here, please." I took the pen and, under the line for the Meridian Campus Architecture and Design Program, signed my name — Claire Radley.