Rain at Dusk After All These Years

Ahead of Thanksgiving weekend, my boyfriend of five years and I were getting ready to travel back to his hometown to meet his parents. While packing my bags, I stuffed every inch of room with carefully chosen gifts, pushing my luggage ten pounds past the weight limit. Remembering that Samuel Hogan's suitcase was still empty, I opened it up to transfer a few things over, only to find it already crammed with snacks, skirts, makeup, and tampons. I looked up at Samuel, who was playing online video games with his best friend, Serena Miller, wanting an explanation. I called out to him three times before he finally looked over at me. "Serena was going to be home alone and bored over Thanksgiving, so I invited her to come along with us," he said casually. "She had way too much stuff, so she stored it in my bag. If your luggage is overweight, just pay for the extra checked bag." Silently, I set down the gifts that had nowhere left to go and looked at the clueless man. He didn't know that those extra ten pounds were the final straw breaking us apart after all these years. Chapter 1 Zipping my suitcase shut, I calmly placed it back in its spot and stepped out of the bedroom. I took a moment to catch my breath and ease the suffocating tightness in my chest. Right then, my phone chimed with messages from my mother. Janice Hayes: [Sweetheart, don't forget to bring those gourmet treats I sent over for Samuel's parents. Make sure you help around the house and make a great impression.] Janice: [I'm so happy for you. You and Samuel have been through so much, and you're finally crossing the finish line. Don't stumble on the last step!] Janice had witnessed our relationship from the very beginning, and she wanted my happiness more than anyone else. Hearing that Samuel Hogan and I were going to meet his parents this Thanksgiving, she was overjoyed and drank a little to celebrate. But now, I was probably going to disappoint her. Serena Miller's laughter drifted through the crack in the bedroom door. I stared at my packed suitcase, filled with gifts that Samuel's parents loved. Draped over the living room sofa was a dress I had spent half a month picking out just for this occasion. Now all the careful preparations I had made felt meaningless. I stared at the chat window with my mother. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to say. Samuel finished his game and walked out to grab a glass of water. Seeing me sitting quietly on the couch, he slipped off his headset and asked offhandedly, "You're not upset, are you?" I shook my head, recalling Janice's words about crossing the finish line and thinking about all the years we had shared. Not ready to give up yet, I looked up at him and asked seriously, "Does Serena really have to come with us? We're going to meet your parents. It's not appropriate for her to tag along." Samuel frowned. "She is all packed, and her ticket is already booked. It's too late to cancel it now. Besides, it's just one extra place setting at the table. My parents won't mind." It was his subtle way of turning me down. When I remained silent, he assumed I didn't believe him, so he took a screenshot of Serena's flight confirmation and texted it to me to prove his point. I stared at the travel itinerary, finding the whole thing absurd. When we booked the tickets earlier, the holiday travel rush had made them nearly impossible to get. I had been running around trying to prepare gifts for his parents, stressing myself out so much that cold sores broke out around my mouth. Samuel, who rarely paid attention to travel plans, had surprisingly offered to take care of the booking so I could focus on other things. I had been deeply moved, mistaking his gesture for genuine thoughtfulness. Looking back now, he had decided to bring Serena along from the start. This hadn't been a discussion; he had been simply giving me a heads-up. The fully packed suitcase, the pre-booked ticket... he had planned it all. He had endless opportunities to ask my opinion, yet he never did. And those extra ten pounds weren't just luggage. They represented me, awkwardly squeezed between Serena and him. I was the third wheel. I opened my phone and booked a seat on the last remaining Amtrak train to my hometown. Then I exited the app and opened the chat with Janice. [Mom, I'm coming home for Thanksgiving this year.] Chapter 2 I thought Janice would be furious and demand an explanation right away. Instead, she simply replied: [Okay, sweetie. I'll be waiting for you at home. Remember, I'm always in your corner.] Hot tears welled up in my eyes, but I forced them back. I typed back: [Okay.] When I backed out of the chat, I accidentally tapped into my social media feed. The top post was from Serena. It read: [Heading over to meet his parents on Thanksgiving! What should I wear?] She didn't mention Samuel directly, yet the comment section was already buzzing with excitement. [Meeting the parents over the holidays? Are wedding bells in the air?] [As I said, if Samuel had any sense, he'd see Serena is ten times better than the girl he's with now.] ... Out of all the comments, Serena singled out this second one to reply to. [Oh, don't be silly! Chloe is totally fine... Well, except for being a small-town girl with a bit of a cheap streak, but other than that, she's okay!] My best friend, Maya Jenkins, called me right then. "Chloe, what is going on?" she asked with concern. "I just saw that bitch Serena's post! You're going to meet Samuel's parents. What is she tagging along for?" "Maya, I'm not going to his place anymore," I sniffled. "I'm going to my hometown for Thanksgiving this year." After a long pause, she asked seriously, "Are you sure about this?" I looked over at the heavy luggage, then replied firmly, "Yeah." Maya's voice cracked with emotion. "It's all because of that douchebag and his little snake! As soon as I give birth, I swear I'm storming their office and tearing them to shreds!" Her childish outburst made me smile through my tears. "Just rest up and focus on the baby. I'm still planning on being the godmother, you know." "Maya," I added quietly, "this time, I'm truly letting go." There was no heartache, no fury, and no disappointment anymore—only absolute calm. I had talked about letting go so many times before. Including this year, Samuel and I had known each other for nine years. Back then, he was the untouchable golden boy of the School of Architecture. One look at him, and I didn't want anyone else. I chased after him for four long years, and it wasn't until after graduation that he finally gave me the official title of his girlfriend. Countless times I had grown discouraged and wanted to walk away, but in the end, I could never bring myself to part with him. During the awkward adjustment phase of our relationship, his cold detachment kept me awake night after night. Back then, I naively thought that was just who he was. That was until his lowerclassman, Serena, showed up. He remembered her monthly cycle, brought her an umbrella when it rained, and took her out for midnight burgers after her breakups. We fought and gave each other the silent treatment countless times over her. Yet Samuel swore up and down that he only saw her as a sister. After nine years of entanglement, he said it so convincingly that I fought hard to believe him. I forced myself to believe that all that favoritism was nothing more than brotherly love, swallowing every drop of disappointment and pain. Until my birthday this year, when Samuel finally agreed to take me to meet his parents, I thought that the long wait was finally over and that sweet relief had come at last. But my nine years of devotion couldn't hold a candle to a few breezy words from Serena. This dream of mine had finally reached its end, waking me up once and for all. Chapter 3 When I got home from work, the rich aroma of dinner was already drifting through the apartment, carrying Serena's laughter right along with it. Opening the door, I saw a neat pair of leather shoes and high heels set side by side. My sneakers looked out of place beside them. In the kitchen, Serena was hovering around the stove, wearing my apron and the matching couple slides I had bought for Samuel and myself. Samuel usually wouldn't step foot in the kitchen and couldn't even manage to heat a bowl of soup for me when I was sick. Yet now, he was standing right by her side, assisting her. Noticing me come in, Serena greeted me like she owned the place. "Hey Chloe! Samuel and I are almost done making dinner. Go wash your hands." After I washed my hands, Samuel carried the dishes out of the kitchen one by one. There was spicy beef, fiery chili pork, and blistered hot peppers. Every single dish was loaded with spice. Holding my fork, I didn't even know where to start. I was raised on mild, delicate flavors, and while Samuel loved bold food, he had a sensitive stomach. It was entirely for his sake that I, someone who had never cooked a day in her life before, had spent years learning how to make gentle, nutritious meals. Noticing that I was barely touching the food, Serena asked, "Why aren't you eating, Chloe?" "Neither Samuel nor I can handle spicy food," I replied flatly. Serena paused, turning to look at Samuel with an injured expression. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Let me go to the grocery store and cook something else." Samuel glanced at me, then caught Serena's arm as she started to get up. "Serena spent all evening cooking. What's the harm in taking a few bites?" He turned back to Serena with a gentle smile. "It tastes great. My parents are going to love it." Relieved, Serena kept piling food onto Samuel's plate. He accepted them without complaint. I must have taken such good care of him over the years that he had forgotten the agonizing pain of his stomach ulcers, but I didn't bother warning him further. Anyway, it wasn't my stomach that was going to suffer. I had some corn, then set my fork down. Seemingly feeling hot, Serena unbuttoned the apron and slid it off. That was when I noticed the outfit she was wearing underneath. It was the very dress I had spent half a month carefully picking out. Catching me staring straight at the dress, Serena seemed to remember something and offered me a sheepish smile. "Oh, I got my period today and accidentally ruined my own dress," she explained. "Samuel told me to just borrow yours. You don't mind, do you? I'll dry clean it and give it back to you as soon as we're back." Samuel had gone with me when I bought that dress. He knew better than anyone how much time and effort I had poured into finding it. I looked over at Samuel, who remained completely unbothered, and spoke in a flat tone. "I bought that specifically to meet your parents." "Just wear something else. It's just a dress," he replied. How effortlessly he brushed it off! Just a dress. Just an extra place setting at the table. Yet it was these little things, piling up day after day, that slowly wore away those nine years of my devotion. Chapter 4 Serena clutched the dress, looking panic-stricken. "I'm so sorry, Chloe," she sobbed. "I had no idea this was the dress you bought to meet Samuel's parents! I'll take it off right now and give it back to you." She yanked at the zipper. With a loud rip, the seam along the sleeve split wide open, tearing a long line right through the fabric. Samuel slammed his fork down on the table and grabbed her hands to stop her. "Enough, Chloe!" he snapped. "How long are you going to keep throwing this tantrum? Ever since the night I mentioned bringing Serena along with us, you've been picking fights. Do you hate her that much?" Tears brimmed in Serena's eyes as she looked at him, wiping them away with a pitiable expression. "So, that's what it is," she said, putting on a brave face. "Chloe is upset with me because of this. In that case, I shouldn't go. "Samuel, I won't get between you two. I just feel terrible about your parents. They were nice enough to send me those specialties from home." A wave of dark irony washed over me. In our five years together, I had never missed a holiday or occasion to send thoughtful gifts to Samuel's parents, yet I had never once received anything from them in return. It turned out they were giving gifts to someone else. "Why give her the satisfaction?" Samuel scoffed. "My parents have been dying to meet you!" The reason they were so eager to meet her was crystal clear now. If Samuel hadn't been constantly talking about Serena to them, why would they be so excited to see her while never making a mention of me, their future daughter-in-law? I was just relieved that those gifts, which had cost me half a year's salary, were still sitting in my room, unsent. After packing away the gifts I had laid out in the living room, I noticed an extra suitcase standing near the doorway. Serena walked over with a bright smile. "Chloe, we have to wake up early tomorrow to catch the first flight out. Since your apartment is closer to the airport, Samuel said I could crash here tonight. You don't mind, right?" Ignoring her, I dragged my repacked luggage into the guest bedroom. As I got settled in to sleep, my stomach let out a rumble. I had barely touched dinner earlier because I couldn't stomach looking at Samuel and Serena. Unable to ignore the hunger, I got out of bed to whip something up in the kitchen. But as soon as I opened the door, my eyes landed on Serena, who was standing in the living room in just her underwear as she tried on another dress. Samuel was sitting right there, making zero effort to avoid the scene. So, in places I hadn't been paying attention to, this man had already rotted to the core. I had just been too blinded to notice, only smelling the nauseating stench now. Flustered to see me come out, Serena stammered, "Samuel, I told you I should change in the bedroom, but you insisted I do it out here." She turned to me, adding quickly, "Chloe, don't get the wrong idea. I just couldn't decide what to wear tomorrow, so I asked him to give me a second opinion." Samuel raised an eyebrow and smiled smoothly. "You've got a great figure, Serena. Everything looks good on you." Silently, I made myself some pasta, ate it, and went back to my room. Dozing off, I was jolted awake by my bedroom door bursting open. Before I could react, Samuel threw a barrage of accusations at me. "Did you take Serena's passport? Are you that desperate to stop her from coming along with us?" I stared at the two of them, bewildered. "Chloe, please give me back my passport," Serena pleaded bitterly. "I won't interfere with your meeting with Samuel's parents. I just wanted to visit the town where he grew up and witness his happiness." I looked at Samuel and stated the simple fact. "I didn't take her passport." "But you were the only third person in the living room earlier," Serena pressed, biting her lip. Without giving my words a second thought, Samuel flung open my suitcase and tore through it, flipping everything upside down. My clothes were scattered all over the floor, and my neatly folded winter coat spilled open. He blinked. "Why are you packing winter clothes?" I glanced at him and remained silent. Samuel searched the room inside and out, still coming up empty-handed. Right then, Serena gasped from the living room. She had found her passport wedged in the couch cushions. She walked back over, looking sheepish as she apologized to me. Samuel pressed his lips together and managed to squeeze out a reluctant "Sorry" through gritted teeth. I waved a dismissive hand, simply telling him to close the door on his way out. ... Early the next morning, when I woke up, Samuel and Serena were already at the dining table having breakfast. They had heated last night's leftovers. Serena ate with gusto, while Samuel could barely take two bites without clutching his stomach in pain. I knew his ulcers were acting up again. But what did that have to do with me? I made a bowl of oatmeal and ate it on my own. Once I was finished, I headed downstairs, dragging two heavy suitcases behind me. Samuel reached out to help me, but right then, Serena came huffing and puffing, struggling with her luggage. He immediately redirected his hands to help her instead. "Serena's health isn't great," he muttered, as if explaining to me. "She can't handle carrying it all on her own." I didn't even bother glancing at him. Rain had been pouring down since the early hours of the morning. Between the downpour and the Thanksgiving travel rush, it took 30 minutes just to get a carpool, which already had two other passengers inside. Samuel ushered Serena into the car, climbed in after her, and shut the door behind him. Turning to me, he said, "Serena and I are heading to the airport first. Grab your own ride and meet us there." I nodded silently. My Uber arrived right on cue, but my destination wasn't the airport. It was the train station. Nine years ago, it had been a rainy day just like this one when I first met Samuel. Through all the twists and turns, I had recklessly risked everything in the name of love, willingly walking into a cage built on affection. Now that the love was gone, I could walk away just as cleanly. As the train surged forward, the scenery receded past my window. I quietly bade farewell to the city. Some goodbyes never needed to be grand or dramatic. Just like the one between Samuel and me.