A Family of Four, No Place for Me

A huge banner hung in the Moonshadow Pack's banquet hall: "Congratulations to Leanna Hale on her admission to Imperial University with an S-rank talent score!" And I stood in the corner of that hall, without even a chair to sit on. During the opening toasts, everyone took a turn praising Leanna. Our father, Reid Hale, was the pack's Alpha. He addressed the room proudly. "Leanna is my pride and joy. She received the Moon Goddess's blessing at three. At five, she could sense her wolf. She first shifted at 14, on August fourth, 2020. I will never forget that day!" My younger cousin, Cora Wells, was chewing a piece of roast meat when she asked innocently, "What about Aurora? Which school did she get into?" The table fell silent. My father's smile froze. My mother coughed awkwardly and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. In the end, Leanna answered for me, "Some academy down south, I think." I had been admitted to the best healers' academy in the South. The letter had been sitting on the coffee table in the living room for 40 days. Not one person had cared. My mother smiled and tried to smooth things over. "Aurora is the easy one. She can handle anything herself." The easy one. Being the easy one meant licking my own wounds when I was bullied. It meant nursing myself through three days and nights of a high fever. Because I was the easy one, I spent 18 years living in Leanna's shadow. But that was all right. I'd already bought my own train ticket. One way. And I wasn't planning to come back. 1 "Leanna, did you pack those new sweaters? "And the snow-fox coats your father bought you? I put them on top, so take them out first when you get there. "It's cold up north. Keep warm and don't get sick." My mother had been in Leanna's room since first light, going through every suitcase again and again. "Mom, that's the third time you've said all this!" Leanna looped her arm through our mother's. "Don't worry," she coaxed. "I remember everything you said!" My mother gave her arm a playful tap. "Knowing how careless you are, I have to check a few more times. "Oh, and I sorted your usual medicine into the little case. It's in the outside pocket of your day bag." She kept fussing over Leanna for a while before she noticed me in the doorway. She paused and looked at me. "You've always been the easy one, Aurora. So independent. I never have to worry about you." With an old backpack on my shoulders, I looked down at the small 20-inch suitcase by my feet. That was everything I owned. I'd packed it all myself well in advance. I carried it downstairs, and my father glanced at me and frowned. "Leanna has three suitcases. There's no room left in the carriage. "You don't have much, Aurora. Why don't you wait here? We'll come back for you after we drop Leanna off." My hand tightened on the handle. It was always like this. Next to Leanna, I always had to wait. Leanna shone so brightly that once our parents looked at her, they couldn't see me at all. So I tried as hard as I could to be better. Leanna had the talent and the grades, but she was hopeless at taking care of herself. So I kept my grades up and took care of everything myself. I never gave them a thing to worry about. I thought being the easy one would make them notice me. Instead, the easier I made things for them, the less they worried. And the less they worried, the more convinced they were that I didn't need looking after. My mother was helping Leanna carry her suitcases downstairs when she spoke to me. "You've always been independent, Aurora. Not like Leanna, who needs us for everything. "Take some money out of my drawer and hire a carriage of your own, all right?" I didn't say anything. A month earlier, they had already worked out every detail of Leanna's departure: what to bring, what to watch out for, how to get there. But nobody asked about me. I stood there like a spectator and watched them carry Leanna's bags out, trip after trip. Once the last bag was loaded, they glanced at the sky and hurried to leave. Just before they left, my mother remembered something and turned back to me. "Aurora, make sure the doors and windows are shut before you go. "It's going to rain later. We're heading out." On her way past me, my mother paused. "Let me know when you get to school, Aurora." Then they were gone. The house fell silent. I stood alone in the living room. The sky had darkened, and a few faint shafts of light slanted through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Dust hung in the air and took its time settling. I watched them disappear, then silently checked the windows on every floor to make sure they were shut. I stopped when I got to Leanna's room. A family photo stood in the middle of her desk. Our parents sat in the center, with Leanna beaming behind our mother. I wasn't in it. I'd been studying in my room that day, so they'd forgotten to call me down. My mother had apologized afterward, but then she'd added, "You've always been independent, Aurora. I thought things like family photos didn't matter to you." I shut the window and stood in her room for a moment. Leanna had the best room in the house: big and south-facing, with plenty of sunlight. My mother cleaned it more often than any other room, and it always smelled like flowers. I went back to the living room. My acceptance letter was still lying untouched on the coffee table. I put it in my bag, zipped it shut, then went outside and hired a carriage. The rain started the moment I got in. My comm crystal buzzed. A message from my mother. "Did you get the doors and windows shut?" I looked at it for a long time, then opened my contacts. I selected my father, my mother, and Leanna, one after another, then hovered my thumb over Delete for a few seconds. I didn't press it. Not yet. I put the crystal back in my pocket. Outside the window, the fine rain had turned into one solid sheet. Everything familiar blurred behind the rain, then vanished from sight. 2 Orientation kept me busy all through my first week. Picking up my academy pin, activating my dorm access, checking on my scholarship application at the registrar's office. I did all of it alone. Just as I had for 18 years. Eating alone, studying alone, choosing a school alone. Back before the pack's coming-of-age trial, my mother had made Leanna three different balanced meals a day. I asked why she hadn't made any for me. She looked taken aback for a second. "You've always been independent, Aurora... I thought you didn't like having everything planned for you. "I can make those meals for you too, if you'd like." And she did. Better than Leanna's, even. What stayed with me was the relief on her face. She probably thought the problem was solved. But the problem was never the meals. The problem was that if I didn't bring something up, they didn't think of me. If I didn't say it hurt, they assumed nothing hurt. If I didn't hold out my hand, they assumed I didn't need anything. It was always like this. One night, my comm crystal wouldn't stop buzzing. My mother had posted a set of photos in the pack chat. She couldn't stop worrying about Leanna, so she had gone all the way to Imperial University with her. The photos showed the university's grand gates up north, the dazzling northern lights, and the library said to have the largest collection in the Empire. The last was a full-length shot of Leanna standing outside her dorm room. "Imperial University really is something! It lives up to its reputation!" "I hear the campus is huge, so there's a lot of walking. Luckily, Reid knows people there. They've approved a carriage for Leanna to use on campus." My father answered instantly. "All arranged. The carriage arrives tomorrow. Leanna won't have to tire herself out." I scrolled through all of it and sat staring at the crystal for half an hour. Finally, the message I'd been waiting for arrived. "Aurora should have gotten there by now, right?" It was my mother who asked. "Aurora, how is it over there? Are you settling in?" Before I could answer, my father cut in. "Aurora never gives anyone trouble. She'll be fine." And then they went back to talking about Leanna. Three messages. That was all they had to say about me. I knew they hadn't meant to hurt me. They just didn't think they needed to check on me. I'd always taken care of everything myself. They were so used to it that they thought I didn't need anyone to look after me. My roommate, Mia Bennett, watched me stare blankly at the crystal. Finally, she asked, "Aurora, didn't your family come with you? I haven't seen anyone these last few days." "No. They're with my sister." "Where does she go?" "Imperial University." Mia's hands went still. "Oh... that's where the best of the best go. "But our academy is good too. The Empire's top ten healers all graduated from here." I smiled and didn't answer. The second week, the academy ran a three-day trial for first-years. We had to go into the Moonlight Forest near campus to identify and collect herbs. The weather in the South was hot and muggy, and I wasn't used to it. By that afternoon, I was sick from the heat and badly dehydrated. I crouched in the shade of a tree, unable to stop throwing up. My vision blurred. A teaching assistant handed me a potion and bundled me straight onto the bus back to campus. Under the cool lights of the campus clinic's treatment room, the healer used ice to bring my temperature down. "Aurora, why can't I reach your emergency contact? "You're severely dehydrated. Our policy requires me to let your family know what's happened." I looked up at the ceiling, shook my head, and answered quietly, "They're busy." While I rested, I scrolled numbly through the messages on my crystal. My mother had posted again in the pack chat. All photos of Leanna. In the photos, Leanna looked like she was on top of the world, a longsword in her hand and the last light of sunset behind her. That night, before I shut the crystal off, I checked the chat one last time. Leanna was complaining that the dinners at Imperial University weren't to her taste. My father immediately posted a screenshot of a transfer. A full 5,000 gold coins. "Go eat somewhere good. Don't settle for less." Then he posted another one. He'd sent 2,000 gold coins to my account too. "Aurora, tell your mother and me if you run short." It wasn't that they didn't love me at all. They just gave me so little compared with Leanna. So little that they often forgot about me altogether. Then they launched into an excited discussion about next month's Founding Day. They told Leanna she had to come home for it and tell the pack's pups how she'd gotten into Imperial University. Nobody mentioned me again. I put the crystal beside my pillow and turned off the light. Moonlight came through the gap in the curtains and fell across my bed. I'd picked this bed. I'd come to this city on my own. Nobody saw me off. Nobody picked me up. Nobody was waiting at the other end. But at least here, nobody compared me to anyone. 3 A week before Founding Day, I heard from my mother. "Aurora, are you coming home for the festival?" There was little concern in her voice. She sounded as if she were just checking a box. "No. There's a seminar at the academy." "What seminar?" "Advanced healing arts research." She didn't ask anything else. "All right. Take care of yourself. "Oh, and Aurora, I hear there are plenty of pure white moonstones in the South. Bring some back next time you come home. I want to make a necklace for Leanna." Always a task for me. Always Leanna on her mind. I didn't know what I was to them. Leanna's servant? On Founding Day, the pack chat was buzzing. Photo after photo. The whole pack together, roasting meat, dancing, making offerings to the Moon Goddess. Leanna was at the center of it all as usual, surrounded by the others and smiling brightly. A few messages asked, "Why didn't Aurora come home this time?" or "When is Aurora coming home?" They were quickly buried under everything else. I closed the chat and walked off campus by myself. That day, I saw the sea for the first time. I stood on the rocks, took a photo, and posted it on my page. Mia liked it first. My academic advisor, Nathan Cole, was second. Nobody from my family. They probably never looked at my posts. In the middle of November, something big happened in the pack. It started when my mother shared a link in the family chat: the winners' list from the Empire's Youth Elite Tournament. Leanna took third. For a first-year student, it was a huge achievement. The whole pack was talking about it. My mother was so excited she fired off dozens of messages in the pack chat. "Leanna really is the Moon Goddess's favorite! Incredible!" "I've always said it: Leanna shines wherever she goes!" "Reid, look at this! That's our daughter!" My father wrote back at length. "Leanna's resilience and strength honor the Moonshadow Pack's proud heritage. I could not be prouder of you, and the pack is proud of you too." The rest of the pack piled on the praise. I closed the group chat without leaving a comment. I wasn't jealous. I was just a little tired. The Empire's Young Healers' Championship ran at the same time as the Youth Elite Tournament. And I took third in mine. Nobody knew. Nobody cared. In that house, every honor belonged to Leanna. To my surprise, Leanna messaged me that night. "Aurora, what are you up to?" I was looking up an old medicinal formula, so I sent back one word. "Busy." "Busy with what?" "Coursework." She went quiet, then sent a whole paragraph. "I came in third this time, and Mom and Dad have been praising me nonstop in the pack chat. But you haven't said anything. Are you upset?" I stared at the screen. Upset? Did she think I could only be happy if I was jumping for joy over her success? "No. Congratulations." "Really? You're not mad at me?" "Why would I be mad at you?" "Good." Leanna seemed relieved. "I thought you were angry." Angry. If anger could have changed anything, I'd have flipped the table at that banquet where there wasn't even a seat for me. "Get some rest. Good night." I meant to end it there. But Leanna sent one more message. "Aurora, are you coming home for the Winter Rite?" "Depends." "Okay. I hope you do. There's something I want to tell you." I didn't ask what it was, because whatever she wanted to say had nothing to do with me anymore. In her world, I was more like a servant, always at her beck and call. But choosing a school in the South meant choosing my own life. One weekend in December, my comm crystal lit up. It was a call from an unfamiliar number up north. The caller sounded anxious. "Hello, is this Aurora? I'm Leanna's roommate." "Yes. What's wrong?" "Leanna pushed herself too hard in a practice battle, and she's unconscious. Before she collapsed, she said she didn't want your parents to worry, so she asked me to call you..." After a while, I asked, "How is she now?" "The healers say it's nothing serious. She should come around soon." "All right," I said calmly. "Are you coming up?" she asked. I kept my voice level. "I'm not her healer. If she doesn't want our parents to worry, contact a qualified instructor at her university. I'm busy." I ended the call. I didn't know what Leanna was thinking. Why call me instead of our parents? Because she thought I'd come running whenever she called. Because I was supposed to drop everything and take care of her? Why should I? The crystal lit up again. Leanna. She was awake. Her pale face appeared above the crystal. "Aurora... my roommate said you didn't sound happy." "I'm not. I don't understand why you called me instead of our parents when you got hurt." Leanna was quiet for a moment. "Because Mom and Dad are busy. I didn't want to bother them." "So I'm not busy? But it's fine to bother me?" The words startled both of us. For 18 years, all I'd ever said was yes. This was the first time anyone in my family had seen me angry. Leanna didn't speak for a few seconds. "Aurora, what's going on with you?" I didn't really know either. Maybe I just didn't want to be the old Aurora anymore. "Nothing. Get some rest." I shut off the crystal and sat on the edge of my bed, staring at nothing. Mia had heard everything. Without a word, she pressed a moonfruit into my hand. "Try it. It's so sweet!" "Thanks." I looked at the moonfruit in my hand. At last, I was sure of one thing: I wasn't going home for the Winter Rite. 4 On the last day of finals, my mother called out of nowhere. "Aurora, what day are you coming home?" "I'm not." Two seconds of silence. "You didn't come back for Founding Day either. Now you're skipping the Winter Rite too?" "I'm at a critical stage with a formula I'm developing. My advisor wants me to stay and run some experiments." There was no formula. And Nathan hadn't asked me to stay. My mother sounded a little disappointed. "But I haven't seen you in so long, and the Winter Rite is the most important day of the year for the pack. "Could you talk to your advisor about it?" "This formula is important. It directly affects my grade." "All right, then." My mother sighed. "I'll say a blessing for you at home." I didn't answer. Even if I had gone home, they would have looked right through me. Next to Leanna, I'd never even catch their eye. After finals, most of the campus emptied out. Mia went home too, and the room was mine alone. But I liked the quiet. No comparisons. No being overlooked. No suffocating reminders of how differently they treated us. The day Leanna got home, my mother posted a photo in our family chat. The table was covered with roast venison, moonfruit bone broth, honeyed berry tarts, and a whole platter of roasted snow-hare legs. All Leanna's favorites. Leanna replied with a heart-hands emoji. "It feels so good to be home!" My father added a message. "A rare day with the whole family together!" The whole family together. A group with four people in it, messages from three, and a table with no place set for me. To them, the whole family was already there. I sat in the empty dorm room with a bowl of instant noodles in front of me. When I finished eating, the messages were still coming. My mother tagged my father. "Reid, where did you go? Come back. We need a picture of our family of three. I want to post it on my page." Family of three. I stared at that message for an hour, but not one of them questioned it. I took a deep breath and opened my contacts. Scrolled to my father's name. Pressed and held. Delete contact. Scrolled to my mother's name. Pressed and held. Delete contact. I scrolled to Leanna's name and hesitated. Then I deleted her anyway. After that, I left the family chat and the pack chat, one right after the other. I silenced the crystal and pushed it under my pillow. Every so often, distant cheers from the town's celebration drifted into the room. As I lay there, I suddenly thought back to when I was five. At the Winter Rite that year, Leanna sensed her wolf. Nothing like it had happened in the pack's history. A five-year-old, already able to feel her wolf. Everyone was stunned. They all came to see the prodigy. I was pushed into a corner and knocked against the living room cabinet, breaking a vase. My mother tore into me in front of all of them. But Leanna ran over, crouched beside me, and helped me pick up the pieces. She said, "Don't cry, Aurora. I'm here." That was the last moment of genuine kindness from Leanna that I could remember. After that? After that, Leanna's light grew more blinding, and our parents felt justified in favoring her. And she got used to everyone revolving around her. Maybe she didn't overlook me on purpose. She just didn't understand that someone standing in the sun can never see into the shadows. A huge purple firework went off outside and lit up the whole southern sky. It wasn't for me. From that day on, I had no home. At that same moment, back at the Alpha's house in the Moonshadow Pack, Aurora's mother, Evelyn Hale, opened the family chat on her comm crystal. She was about to tag Aurora and ask why she hadn't said a word all day. But to her surprise, the group had gone from four members to three. She tapped Aurora's old profile picture and sent a message demanding an explanation. But all she got back was a cold line of small text: "This user is not accepting your messages. You are not on this user's contact list. Please send a new contact request." Evelyn froze.