第1章
I knew Ethan Cole was cheating on me, but I could never figure out who the other woman was.
For years, I tracked his location, checked his bills, and followed every woman who got close to him.
The worst time, I swallowed a whole bottle of pills right in front of him and demanded he tell me her name.
When I woke up, Ethan was sitting beside my hospital bed, looking exhausted.
The moment he saw my eyes open, he froze. Then he pulled me into his arms.
“Nora, there’s no one else.”
“What do I have to do to make you believe me?”
Everyone said I was crazy.
Even I started to wonder whether Ethan had really cheated on me.
Maybe the woman I couldn’t find was just a figment of my imagination.
Only Claire, my best friend of eighteen years, kept holding me and saying the same things.
“You’re not crazy. I believe you.”
“If you want a divorce, I’ll take care of you. If you don’t, I’ll keep looking with you.”
“One day, we’ll find her.”
But every time I thought I was close to catching the woman, the trail went cold.
Then Claire was hospitalized with stomach problems, and I went to bring her some porridge.
Outside her room, I heard Ethan’s anguished voice.
“Claire, I can’t keep pretending. I have to tell Nora that you’re the one I love.”
Claire snapped. She grabbed a fruit knife and held it to her throat.
“No! You can’t tell her.”
“After my parents died, she was the one who helped me get through it.”
“If you tell her that her husband and her best friend have been lying to her for three years, do you think she’ll survive it?”
Ethan’s face changed. He rushed over, wrapped his arms around Claire, and said nothing.
Outside the room, I clamped a hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing.
The third person I’d spent three years searching for had been standing between my husband and me all along.
There wasn’t enough room in a marriage for three people.
This time, I was letting go.
…
I slipped into the empty room next door and splashed cold water on my face.
Only when the mirror showed no trace of what I’d heard did I pick up the container of porridge and walk out.
Ethan and Claire sat at opposite ends of the room.
Claire’s eyes lit up when she saw me.
“Nora, you’re finally here.”
She took the container, breathed in the smell, and smiled.
“Wow, that smells amazing.”
“Your porridge is always my favorite. You’re the only one who’s ever looked out for me!”
Everything was just like it used to be.
Ever since the first time Claire brought me home in grade school, she’d loved the porridge I made.
After her parents died in an accident, she couldn’t eat. I’d spoon-feed her one bite at a time.
I looked at her reddened eyes and forced a smile.
“If you like it, have some more.”
Ethan came over and reached for the bag on my shoulder.
I turned away from him.
His hand stopped in midair. His brow furrowed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I set my bag on a chair and looked up at him.
“What are you doing here?”
Ethan glanced toward the window.
“I had a client meeting near the office. I heard Claire was sick, so I stopped by.”
His office was on the south side of town. The hospital was on the north side.
That was quite a detour.
Claire tightened her grip on her spoon and immediately defended him.
“I was in a lot of pain. I called you, but you didn’t answer, so I called Ethan.”
“Don’t blame him. I was the one who asked him to come.”
I didn’t call her out. I picked up an apple and slowly peeled it.
“You live alone. It must be hard when you’re sick.”
The blade slid through the fruit. I looked up and smiled at her.
“When you get married, I’ll teach your husband how to make all your favorite food.”
“Especially this porridge. The timing has to be just right.”
Ethan was pouring her a glass of water.
The water spilled over the rim before he finally pulled his hand back.
Claire’s smile faltered, but she quickly stirred her porridge again.
“I don’t even have a boyfriend. Why are we talking about marriage?”
“Then find one.”
I set down the apple, opened my phone, and swiped through the photos I’d saved for her.
“This one’s a personal trainer. He seems really upbeat.”
“This one works at a bank. He’s steady and reliable.”
“And this one was a year behind me in college…”
Ethan suddenly reached over and covered the screen.
“When did you start playing matchmaker?”
He pressed down hard enough to hurt my fingers.
“I’m introducing Claire to some guys. Why are you so tense?”
His jaw had been tight.
As soon as I said that, he released my hand and softened his voice.
“I just don’t want you setting her up with someone you don’t know well and wasting her time.”
“Exactly,” Claire said.
She set down her bowl and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“I’m not ready to date. Having you is enough.”
“If no one wants me, I’ll just buy a little house someday and become a crazy old lady.”
“If Ethan ever mistreats you, come live with me. I’ll take care of you for the rest of your life.”
Her face pressed against me, just like it had when we were kids.
Those arms had once pulled me out of my house when my stepfather hit me.
They’d held me all night, crying, after I took those pills.
Now she was still holding me just as tightly.
Only now, Ethan stood between us.
I froze for half a minute.
Then I gently pushed her arms away and set the peeled apple on a plate.
“If you don’t like any of those guys, that’s fine. If you ever fall for someone, you have to tell me.”
They both looked at me.
Ethan’s shoulders tensed.
Claire lifted her bowl, her lashes trembling.
But neither of them said a word.
After a moment, Ethan came over and touched my forehead.
“Are you tired? Let’s go home and let Claire rest.”
I stepped back, picked up my bag, and walked out first.
Where no one could see, my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
第2章
After we left the hospital, Ethan glanced at me several times.
I leaned against the window and didn’t say a word.
He turned up the heat, then reached over and touched the back of my hand.
“Your hands are freezing. Did making porridge wear you out?”
I pulled away.
His hand rested beside the gearshift for a moment before he returned it to the wheel.
“Let’s not go home yet. I’ll take you to dinner.”
“Okay.”
“Italian or Japanese? There’s also a new upscale place that just opened.”
“Whatever.”
Ethan’s patience wore thinner by the second. He tapped the steering wheel twice.
“You always say ‘whatever.’ Then if I pick the wrong thing, you don’t like it. How am I supposed to guess?”
I watched the streets of Denver pass by and spoke before I could stop myself.
“Take me wherever you take the other women.”
The tires screeched as he slammed on the brakes.
I hadn’t buckled my seat belt tightly enough. My forehead hit the glove compartment, and my vision went dark for a moment.
Ethan’s expression changed. He unbuckled and cupped my face.
“Where did you hit? Let me see.”
His thumb brushed the red mark on my forehead. His breathing turned uneven.
I turned my head away.
He stared at his empty hand. The concern on his face slowly gave way to anger.
“Nora, how many times do I have to tell you? I’m not cheating.”
The horns behind us grew louder.
He pressed the gas again, his chest rising and falling.
“When are you going to believe me?”
I turned back to the window.
Tears slid down the bridge of my nose before I could stop them.
Ethan didn’t notice.
He pulled into the mall parking garage and softened his voice again.
“There’s a good Italian place here. The soup is great. You’ll like it.”
Claire had told me about it too.
She’d been sprawled on my couch, laughing as she said she’d found a hidden gem and would take me there sometime.
I couldn’t help wondering if Ethan had been the one who went with her last time.
Once he parked, his phone lit up.
There was no name on the screen, just a small blue-sky icon.
Before I could make it out, Ethan turned the phone facedown.
“Client call. I’ll take it outside.”
He got out and walked a long way before answering.
Through the windshield, I watched the tension leave his face.
Then he suddenly stood up straighter. His voice was so excited I could hear him through the glass.
“Are you serious?”
The call ended quickly.
He hurried back, still smiling. When he opened the car door, he forced the smile away.
“An important client wants to sign a contract at the last minute. I have to go.”
I stared at his bright eyes.
“What if I asked you to stay?”
Ethan hesitated, then pulled out his phone and transferred me some money.
“Don’t start.”
“Get something to eat. Buy yourself something if you want.”
“If you get tired of shopping, have the driver pick you up. I’ll probably be late tonight.”
I opened my mouth to say more.
In the end, I said nothing.
I watched him shut the car door and walk away without looking back.
People streamed through the mall.
I moved with the crowd until I stopped outside a jewelry store.
A tarot deck sat in the window.
Claire and I used to sneak off and play with one in school.
When it was time to draw a love card, we pulled the same one.
She’d laughed so hard she’d nearly fallen off her chair.
“Nora, what if we fall for the same guy someday?”
I’d handed her my card and thumped my chest.
“Then you have to tell me.”
“A man will never be more important than you. If you like him, I’ll walk away.”
I never thought my words would come true. We’d fallen for the same man.
I took out my phone and opened Claire’s messages.
The screen lit up and went dark beneath my thumb.
In the end, I put my phone away.
I crouched on the floor and finally let myself sob.
I’d told her I would step aside.
Why had they still lied to me?
For three whole years, they’d turned me into a complete lunatic.
第3章
When I got home, I called my lawyer, Emily.
As soon as she heard my voice, she sighed.
“What did you find this time?”
Three years ago, I’d gone to her when I first realized something was off with Ethan.
Every time I found another clue, I said I wanted a divorce.
But whenever Ethan held me and explained himself, I found another excuse for him.
Emily probably thought this time would be no different.
“Don’t rush into drawing up an agreement. Give yourself a few days to calm down, then talk to Mr. Cole.”
I turned on the study light and set our marriage certificate on the desk.
“I found her.”
There was a pause on the other end.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
I opened the certificate and looked at the photo of us standing close together.
“Divide the assets however you think is fair.”
“Starlight Media in Chicago has been trying to hire me as their PR director.”
“Draw up the agreement as soon as you can. I’m leaving Denver.”
For years, I’d quit my job and stayed home to support him.
Whenever he hit a rough patch, I helped him get meetings with one client after another.
I’d been with him from a small town all the way to the top of his industry.
Now it was time to live for myself.
Emily didn’t try to talk me out of it.
At dawn, the printer spat out the last page of the agreement just as the lock clicked.
Ethan came in carrying blueberry muffins, my favorite.
He didn’t look tired at all. If anything, he could barely contain his excitement.
When he saw me in the study, he composed himself.
“Why are you up so early?”
I covered the agreement with a folder.
“Did you get the contract?”
“I did.”
“Which company?”
Ethan set the breakfast down. He paused while unwrapping it.
“You wouldn’t know them.”
I watched him.
He avoided my eyes. His voice turned impatient.
“I worked all night, and the first thing you do is grill me.”
I picked up my coat and headed for the door.
“I’m going to see Claire.”
Ethan instinctively blocked my way.
“You don’t need to. She’ll be here soon.”
My hand stopped on the doorknob. He kept explaining.
“Her pipes burst. She’s going to stay here for a while.”
“She’s not well, so it’ll be easier for her to recover…”
Ethan’s voice caught.
“Her stomach. Recover from her stomach problems.”
Right then, the doorbell rang.
Claire stood outside with a suitcase. When she saw me, she opened her arms.
“Nora, I’m here to move in with you.”
She’d stayed at our place plenty of times before.
There were pajamas for her in my closet and a toothbrush for her in the bathroom.
She never had to ask before coming in. This had always been her second home.
But this time, I found myself blocking the doorway.
“No.”
Claire’s arms froze in midair.
Ethan looked up, his brow deeply furrowed.
“She’s only staying a few days. What’s wrong with you?”
Claire immediately stepped back.
“Is it inconvenient? I can stay at a hotel. It’s fine.”
She looked exactly like the Claire I knew.
And somehow, she disgusted me.
I tightened my grip on the doorknob, ready to tell them everything.
Then Claire covered her mouth, pushed past me, and ran into the bathroom.
Ethan’s face changed. He rushed after her.
He crouched beside her, one hand supporting her shoulder, the other rubbing her back with practiced ease.
Claire looked pale as she threw up.
Without looking up, Ethan shouted at me.
“Where are the tissues?”
“She’s throwing up, and you’re just standing there?”
I picked up the tissue box from the sink and tossed it at his feet.
I watched his fingers tremble as he tried to help her.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind.
“Claire.”
I stared at the hand she’d pressed over her stomach.
“Are you pregnant?”
Claire stopped vomiting.
Ethan’s hand froze too.