The Pain I Never Felt

I was born with congenital analgesia. Growing up, Ethan's biggest fear was seeing me get hurt. Whenever there was danger, he’d throw himself in front of me without hesitation. He even gave up a lucrative career in finance to go into medicine—a grueling field that demanded all his time and energy—just so he could take care of me. For over a decade, he kept me sheltered in the palm of his hand. When I was drained, he took me out to unwind. When life felt dull, he brought it back to life. He told me that by his side, I only ever needed to be a carefree princess. Everyone thought our love would last forever. Until I missed a step on the stairs, lay frozen and helpless on the cold floor, and called Ethan for help. But he was busy delivering Chloe’s puppies. "I can't make it back right now. Just call 911." "Besides, you can't feel pain anyway. Just wait there for the paramedics." In that exact second, I realized that his love had rotted away. I opened SnapChat and saw Ethan had just posted a new story. I tried to shift my legs to get comfortable on the bed, but I could barely move. The man on my screen was exceptionally handsome. Even a plain white button-down looked striking on him, but the smeared bloodstains across his chest stung my eyes. He had severe germaphobia. Yet right now, Ethan held a tiny nursing bottle in each hand, patiently feeding two newborn puppies. The tiny pups let out desperate little squeaks, and the corners of Ethan’s mouth slowly curled upward. "Shoutout to Dr. Miller for saving my babies' lives!" The person recording was clearly an energetic girl. Hearing her voice, Ethan looked up at the lens with a helpless, utterly affectionate smile. The caption read: [Delivered puppies for the first time. Such an incredible feeling of accomplishment.] I clenched my jaw and gripped the corner of my blanket until my knuckles turned white. My whole body wouldn't stop shaking. It wasn't even winter, yet a bone-chilling cold swept right through me. I had blacked out before the paramedics arrived, only to wake up in a hospital bed. And now, my own husband still hadn't shown up. By the time I dialed his number for the ninth time, I didn't even have the strength left to hold the phone. Dr. Adams, my attending physician, looked down at my chart with a grave expression. "Are you able to reach any family members right now, Summer?" I shook my head. "Dr. Adams, you can just tell me directly." Hearing this, Dr. Adams frowned deeply. "Given your condition, your family really needs to be informed. You have a fracture in your right fibula. We've set it in a cast, and it needs to stay on for at least a month. You need absolute bed rest during this period." "On top of that, you're pregnant, and showing signs of a threatened miscarriage. If you plan on keeping this baby, you have to be extremely careful from here on out." My mind went completely blank. Instinctively, I asked, "Pregnant? How far along?" "About eight weeks." I touched my flat stomach, my chest tightening with conflicted emotions. During our pre-marital screening, Ethan had been diagnosed with severe oligozoospermia. Back then, he had avoided me, hidden away, and even talked about moving across the country to put distance between us. He stubbornly pushed me away, yet he couldn't hide how desperately he wanted to hold me, how much he craved my love. He started binge-drinking, speeding on backroads, smashing things in fits of rage, completely unraveling. He tried to push me into the arms of other men he deemed 'worthy,' but the second I faced even the slightest danger, he would pull me into his arms like a madman. The proud spine of that young man had shattered. With bloodshot eyes, he had choked out: "Don't you want a baby, Summer? I can't give you a real future." "I won't let you spend the rest of your life regretting being with me." Back then, I had gripped his trembling hands tightly and smiled with absolute conviction. "Ethan, I don't need a baby. I just need you. As long as I have you, that's enough." Ethan had forced a faint smile, but the deep despair in his eyes was impossible to hide. He wanted a child far more than I did. If this had happened before, the news of this pregnancy would have sent me over the moon. Yet now, all I felt was turmoil—wondering if I should keep this child, or if I should even bother giving Ethan another chance.Ethan's call finally came. I lay silently on the hospital bed, watching his name flash across the screen. After a brief internal battle, I swiped to answer. Half an hour later, Ethan found my room. To my surprise, Chloe was right behind him. The moment he saw the cast on my leg, a flicker of guilt crossed his face. He dropped to his knees beside my bed, gently taking my wrist into his hands just like he used to. Yet I knew he was no longer the Ethan who loved me with his whole heart. "Summer, I'm so sorry I'm late. What did the doctor say about your leg?" I stared down at him. The exhaustion on his face was undeniable. He had taken Chloe's call in the dead of night, rushed out to deliver her dog's litter, and stayed up until dawn. The moment he finished, he hurried over to the hospital. He was still wearing the same shirt from last night, and dark stubble shadowed his jaw. "A fractured fibula," I said, my voice eerily calm. "One month of bed rest, then the cast comes off." Hearing that, Ethan breathed a massive sigh of relief. "Thank God it's nothing too serious." I glanced down at my broken leg. Nothing too serious? He stood up, sat on the edge of the mattress, and pulled my hands into his tight grip. "Last night was an absolute emergency. Chloe's dog was having severe complications during labor. I couldn't just sit by and let them die. Every life deserves a chance, you know?" I watched him defend himself so earnestly and asked, "Are you a vet now?" Choked by my question, Ethan froze. Beside him, Chloe suddenly spoke up. "Summer, I am so, so sorry!" Her face went pale, tears welling up in her eyes, making her look utterly fragile and helpless. "There weren't any emergency vet clinics open at that hour. I was totally out of options, which is why I begged Ethan for help. It's all my fault. Please don't be mad at him." "I didn't mean for this to happen!... I was just terrified." "Maybe to you, an animal's life doesn't mean much, but he's everything to me! Buster has been with me for years. He means the world to me, and I honestly couldn't go on living without him. So please, if you want to blame someone, blame me." With that, she gave me a deep, dramatic bow. Her apology sounded so noble and reasonable, yet it instantly painted me into a corner as a cruel, cold-hearted monster. Ethan glanced at her, raw sympathy flashing in his eyes. "Chloe, stop. You don't need to apologize." I pulled my hand back from Ethan's grasp without an ounce of emotion. Snapping back to reality, Ethan rubbed his temples, looking drained. "I get that you're hurt and feeling upset, but it was an emergency." Ethan looked at Chloe with pity, but when he turned back to me, irritation took over. "Summer, you're being really selfish right now." "It might just be a dog, but it's still a living breathing creature!" "As a doctor, saving lives is my duty. The entire world doesn't just revolve around you!" His words hit me like a slap across the face. I stared at him in disbelief. The chill in his eyes made me feel like I was plunging into ice water. From the very beginning, I hadn't said a single harsh word to Chloe. She simply stepped forward, shed a few performative tears, and suddenly everything was my fault. Strangely, a bitter laugh escaped my lips. I shifted my gaze toward Chloe. "If you were actually sorry, you wouldn't have shown your face in front of me." Chloe's face flushed crimson. She bit her trembling lower lip, muttered a quick "I'm sorry," and bolted out of the room. Ethan glared at me furiously. "Summer!" He turned on his heel to chase after her. "If you walk out that door," I called after him, "we're getting a divorce." He glanced back over his shoulder. "Stop throwing tantrums. You're acting like a lunatic right now." Watching his frantic silhouette disappear down the hallway, I felt an overwhelming wave of irony. Even though I forced a smile, the tears spilled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I knew right then that Ethan and I could never go back.During my entire hospital stay, Ethan never showed his face again. He called Maria, our housekeeper who had been on vacation, and had her come back early. He ordered my favorite fresh flowers, having them arranged differently every day, and had my favorite meals prepared. But I didn't touch any of it. I iced him out completely. Realizing his half-hearted gestures weren't working, he settled into a cold war with me. "Sweetheart, before I arrived, Mr. Miller kept reminding me to look after you," Maria said gently. "He has always loved you more than anything. Don't stay mad at him forever." Maria had no idea what had actually transpired between Ethan and me. She had watched us grow up together. Over the years, she had witnessed firsthand how devotedly Ethan cared for me. But she didn't know that I was no longer his top priority. It was like a scale: on the other side, there was always something far more important than me. "Maria, I'm divorcing Ethan." Saying the words out loud was surprisingly easy. Yet the suffocating weight in my chest surged like a tidal wave, threatening to swallow me whole, leaving me struggling for breath. I closed my eyes, blinking away the bitter moisture. "Every couple has problems they can talk through! Please don't do anything reckless!" Maria gasped, her voice pitching up in shock. "Does Mr. Miller know about this?" I thought about the divorce agreement he had signed years ago, which was still sitting in the home safe. I offered a faint, hollow smile. "He knows." Back when he married me, he had said: "If you ever find yourself unhappy living with me, you can walk away whenever you want. This is my guarantee to you." On the day I was discharged, Ethan still didn't show up. Maria wheeled my chair up to our front porch. Before we even opened the door, cheerful laughter drifted out from inside. "Ethan, seriously, what kind of magic do you have? My dog adores you, and now her puppies love you just as much!" "Does that mean I have to fall in love with you too?" Chloe wore a bright, coquettish smile. When their eyes locked, an undeniable spark of flirtation passed between them. Noticing the open affection in her gaze, Ethan froze for a split second before quickly averting his eyes. She wasn't breathtakingly gorgeous, but she had youth and an infectious charm. When she smiled, two shallow dimples showed on her cheeks, radiating a warm, lively energy. Ethan casually toyed with one of the puppies, turning back to give her a gentle, indulgent smile. "Jealous already? You're such a lightweight." "Hmph," Chloe pouted, crossing her arms playfully. "I'm jealous of the puppies, okay?" As Ethan looked up, his eyes finally landed on Maria and me sitting in the doorway. "Summer." Ethan scrambled to his feet, looking completely caught off guard, his hands hovering awkwardly. "Summer, you're back! Are you tired? Let me have Ethan pour you some water," Chloe chimed in effortlessly, acting like nothing was wrong. Her smile was radiant, but the subtle smugness in her eyes was unmistakable.I pretended not to notice her and fixed my eyes on Ethan. He offered a strained, unnatural smile. "Chloe's dog hasn't been doing well since the delivery, and the newborns are still very fragile. She couldn't handle them on her own, so I had her board them here temporarily. That way, if there's any emergency, I'm right here to help." Chloe glanced at him and quickly chimed in. "Summer, I have a spare key, so I'll drop by every day to look after the puppies. I won't keep bothering Ethan, promise. You don't mind, right?" Her expression was an absolute picture of innocence. Maria, however, instantly smelled something rotten. "Young lady, don't you think it's entirely inappropriate for an unmarried girl to hold the keys to another family's home and drop by whenever she pleases?" Maria's brows furrowed tightly, her gaze dripping with undisguised contempt. Chloe's face burned with embarrassment, and she cast a pleading look toward Ethan. Ethan's face darkened as he turned to Maria, his tone dropping sharply. "Maria, Chloe is my friend and a guest in this house. Please show her some respect." Maria stood stunned, opening her mouth to fire back, but I gently patted her hand and shook my head. I looked at Ethan and said flatly: "This house belongs to me. I do not welcome your friend here. Please take her and leave." This house had been left to me by my late parents. I had every right to say those words. A complicated storm of emotions flashed across Ethan's face. After a long beat, he let out an exasperated sigh. "What happened the other night was my bad, okay? Please stop holding a grudge." "Didn't you always say you loved dogs? Chloe offered to give us one of the puppies. Wouldn't it be great to have a dog keeping you company at home?" Chloe couldn't resist chiming in again. "Summer, my dog is so well-behaved, and her babies are total angels. One is named Peanut and the other is Butter—Ethan actually helped name them!" "Don't you think having a puppy around makes a home feel so warm?" Hearing the quiet triumph woven into her voice, I didn't bother calling her out. Instead, I just looked down at the dog curled up by her feet. It was a white Pomeranian, nestled beside two tiny, fluffy newborn balls of fur. They were indeed very cute. I lifted my eyes back to Ethan, my voice completely devoid of emotion. "Ethan, I'm pregnant. We cannot have pets in the house." For a fraction of a second, an electric spark of pure joy lit up Ethan's eyes. But it died out almost instantly, replaced by a cold, guarded skepticism—the look of a man who believed he had just caught someone in a lie. "Summer, cut the crap. How could you possibly be pregnant?" Seeing his reaction, Chloe threw me a suspicious glance, hesitating before speaking up. "Summer... you really don't have to make up a lie just to get rid of my dogs. I'll just pack up my babies and leave. We won't trouble you anymore." Her eyes went red, tears threatening to spill. I shot her an icy glare. "If you were really so worried about caring for them, you would have taken them to a veterinary boarding facility. As for why you insisted on dragging them into my home, you know the answer better than anyone." "Summer, drop the snide attitude!" Ethan's brows knit into a harsh scowl, his voice thick with disappointment. "You can't even tolerate a couple of harmless puppies, and now you're inventing a pregnancy just to force my hand? You're being..." "Ethan. The dogs, or your child. Pick one." I cut him off, quietly waiting for his verdict. He let out a dry, incredulous chuckle. "A child that doesn't even exist? What kind of choice is that?" "Fine. I have my answer." Whether he believed me or not didn't matter. What mattered was that in his heart, someone else had already taken priority over me. Even a dog ranked higher than I did. In that case, there was no point in keeping this child. Ethan rubbed his temples impatiently. "Summer, can you please stop making a scene?" "The divorce papers in the safe—I've already signed my name. We're getting a divorce."