When My Countdown Reached Zero

After I was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my boyfriend, Ethan, quit his job just to stay by my side through chemo. Whenever the pain kept me up at night, he stayed awake reading me bedtime stories until I drifted off. Whenever I had no appetite, he learned how to cook from scratch, just hoping I'd take a single bite. When I looked in the mirror and cried over my bald head, he shaved his own head completely clean just to make me smile. It was Ethan's love that kept me going through two agonizing years of brutal treatments. Then, out of nowhere, Ethan dropped a bomb on me. "Chloe, I've fallen for Jessica." Jessica was the home caregiver Ethan had hired to look after me. A sudden chill shot through my body. I gripped the sheets, trying to keep my voice steady. "Ethan... it's not April Fools'." "I'm not joking. I have real feelings for her. But you saved my life back then—I could never abandon you, and I won't do anything behind your back." "So, to make it up to Jessica, I promised to take her on a ten-day road trip starting tomorrow. I've already arranged for another caregiver to stay with you while I'm gone." I stared at him in dead silence for a long time before forcing a smile that felt more painful than crying. In the end, I whispered, "Okay." Ethan gently tucked the blanket around me. "I'm heading back to pack my bags. I won't come by tonight. Just wait for me to get back, okay? Once I'm back, my heart will be entirely yours again." I didn't answer him. And I didn't tell him that recently, I had started seeing a countdown hovering over my head. I had seven days left to live. I wouldn't be here when he returned. Before Ethan left, he had arranged everything. Not long after I woke up, the replacement caregiver, Hailey, arrived. While she set out my lunch, I opened Instagram. The newest post on my feed was from Jessica. Seeing the plane tickets in the first picture, my hand froze. Ethan had always prided himself on never lying. So I hadn't doubted him when he said they were leaving today. Turns out, they had flown out in the middle of the night. Ethan had lied to me just to steal a few extra hours with her. The realization hit me like a physical punch, squeezing all the air out of my chest. I numbly swiped through the rest of the photos. When I reached the last slide, I went rigid. Ethan hated photos. In our five years together, we didn't have a single picture of the two of us. I couldn't count how many times I had begged him for one. Every single time, he had turned me down. Yet in this photo, Ethan stood beside Jessica with a fluffy white dog between them. He was grinning from ear to ear. It was a bright, genuine smile I hadn't seen on his face all year. In that quiet moment, the truth hit me. The few smiles Ethan had given me over the past year were strained. Forced just to keep my spirits up. I finally understood why he had fallen for her. Being stuck next to someone who was essentially a walking corpse for so long... anyone would be drawn to someone as vibrant and full of life as Jessica. My vision blurred with tears. "Chloe? Chloe Foster!" A familiar voice snapped me back to reality. I blinked through the blur and looked up at my floor nurse. "What's wrong?" I rasped. "I can't get hold of your boyfriend. If you manage to reach him, tell him to bring Jessica in for her follow-up." My ears buzzed. "Follow-up for what?" "Three months ago, Jessica had surgery to remove a uterine fibroid. She has no family in town, so Ethan was the one who stayed with her at the hospital. He's listed as her emergency contact." "Her check-up was scheduled for this week, but neither of them is picking up. We had no choice but to ask you." Ever since I started chemo, Ethan had spent nearly every day by my side. The only day he had disappeared over the past three months was on my birthday. Right after Ethan gave Jessica the day off, he had gotten an urgent phone call. Hanging up, his face had been pale with panic. "My family just called—my mom fell down the stairs. I need to go see her." I had scrambled to sit up. "Is she okay? Let me come with you!" A flash of guilt had crossed his eyes as he pressed me back onto the mattress. "No, you're not well enough. I'll go alone. I'm just so sorry about your birthday..." "My birthday doesn't matter, just go!" Back then, I hadn't noticed anything off. I had naively thought he was just being protective of my health. Now I knew the truth. He had run off to be with Jessica. Ethan had fallen for her three months ago. The nurse had always been kind to me, and I didn't want to make things difficult for her. I managed a faint, bitter smile. "Okay. I'll let him know." After the nurse stepped out, Hailey offered an awkward smile and held up her phone. "Your boyfriend is such an amazing guy. He loves you so much." "Look, he texted me everything—what you eat, when you take your meds, what you're allergic to. He even planned a completely different, nutrient-rich menu for every day of the week. You can tell he really cares." I glanced at the screen, staring at the endless wall of detailed text messages. I parted my lips, but nothing came out. How could I possibly tell her that the man she thought was deeply in love with me had already moved on? That right this second, he was on a getaway with another woman?I didn't want to humiliate myself, so I kept my phone turned off. For the next two days, Hailey kept me company, chatting about random things. When her eyes landed on the silver bracelet on my wrist, she lowered her voice. "Is that for good luck?" I nodded, a soft, instinctive smile touching my lips. "Ethan got it for me at a little chapel gift shop a while back." "Why do you ask?" Hailey shook her head. "Just curious. The caregiver I took over for—Jessica—had the exact same one on her wrist, so I wondered." The smile died on my face. A memory flashed in my mind. When Ethan had fastened the silver bracelet around my wrist, he had held a second one in his palm. I had smiled and reached for it. "Let me put yours on for you." Ethan had flinched and pulled his hand back. Catching his own reaction, he had quickly offered an excuse: "The engraver said each bracelet had to be put on by the person who bought it, or the inscription wouldn't mean anything." And I had believed him. Even though I had never once seen him wear it, it had never crossed my mind that the second bracelet had been meant for Jessica all along. A wave of sharp disgust churned in my stomach. I yanked the silver bracelet off and threw it straight into the trash can. If it wasn't bought for me, I didn't want it. Hailey stared at me in shock. "What's wrong? Did I say something bad?" I didn't tell her the truth. "No. It just feels pointless for someone who's dying to wear something like this." Hailey frowned, waving her hands. "Don't say that! You're going to get better." Knowing my own deadline, I just offered a quiet smile and let it drop. Hailey began setting out dinner on the tray table. Seeing the side of steamed cauliflower, I spoke up. "I don't like cauliflower." Panicking, Hailey pulled out her phone to double-check the list. "Wait, I didn't mess up! Look, Ethan specifically wrote that this was your absolute favorite and told me to make sure you got extra." Before I could say anything, a notification popped up on her screen from a contact saved as "Cauliflower Queen." I recognized the profile picture instantly. It was Jessica's. The pieces fell into place. Ethan hadn't misremembered. Someone did love cauliflower. It just wasn't me. A suffocating bitterness rose in my throat. "It's fine. You can have it." Hailey cleared the dish and started tidying up the room. Spotting a notebook tucked into the corner of the nightstand, she handed it to me. "This must be Ethan's. Where should I put it?" I had never seen this journal before. Curiosity getting the better of me, I opened the cover. Chloe was diagnosed with stomach cancer. How could this happen to her? She looks like she's in so much pain. My heart aches for her. I will stay by her side no matter what. Always. I kept flipping through the pages until I hit six months ago, where a second name suddenly invaded the private pages meant for me—Jessica. Her smile is so radiant. She spent the entire day taking care of Chloe. She must be exhausted. Something is wrong with me. How could I have feelings for Jessica? Chloe threw up blood on me again today. It was so disgusting. Sometimes I just want to walk away from everything. I'm so damn tired. ... Why was it Chloe who handed me that sandwich and saved my life years ago? Why couldn't it have been Jessica? Tears spilled over my lashes, splashing onto the open pages. So, Ethan had grown sick of this life a long time ago. I was nothing more than a suffocating burden to him. My phone rang. The screen flashed with Ethan's name. I forced my breathing steady and swiped to answer. "How are you feeling today?" he asked. It was the same question he had asked me every single day for the past year. But this was the first time I didn't answer it. Instead, I said flatly, "Remember to remind Jessica about her pelvic follow-up." Ethan's voice instantly dropped to freezing point. "Did you background-check her?!" I let out a hollow laugh. "The clinic couldn't reach either of you. The nurse asked me to pass along the message." A heavy silence stretched across the line before Ethan finally mumbled, "I'm sorry, Chloe. I misunderstood." "It's fine," I murmured. Silence swallowed the call again. I never imagined there would come a day when Ethan and I would have nothing left to say to each other. Two conflicting voices tore at my mind. Emotionally, I wanted to see him one last time. Rationally, I didn't want him to watch me die. After a long pause, I finally broke the silence. "Ethan, can you come back early?" "I don't think I'll make it through these ten days."Ethan let out a harsh, sarcastic scoff. "Chloe, are you serious? Making up a lie like this just to drag me away from Jessica?" "I told you, once these ten days are over, I'm completely done with her. Stop playing these pathetic mind games. It's making me sick." Before I could get a word out, Jessica's soft voice drifted through the receiver. "Ethan, come here, look at this!" A second later, the call went dead. Staring at the pitch-black screen, I let out a self-deprecating laugh. He didn't believe me. And he had no idea that I already knew everything. Five years of love, reduced to this toxic mess. It was almost poetic. For the first time, I felt genuinely relieved that my time was running out. The cancer flared up through the night, the pain keeping me awake. Suddenly, my phone screen lit up. It was a video sent from Jessica's account. It showed a side of Ethan I had never seen before. In the clip, Ethan was flushed red from alcohol. He was clinging desperately to Jessica, crying into her shoulder. "Please, just wait for me. Just wait for me, okay?" "Don't say yes to anyone else. I'm begging you." He sounded so low, so utterly humiliated by his own desperation. My fingers curled tight into the bedsheets, knuckles turning white. I couldn't tell if the burning in my chest was disgust or jealousy. I typed a reply: He hasn't broken up with me yet. You're repulsive, Jessica. I didn't sleep a single wink that night. The next morning, Hailey gasped when she saw my bloodless face. "What happened to you? You look awful! I'm getting the doctor!" I caught her wrist weakly. "Don't bother. It won't make a difference." After all, I only had four days left. Hailey's eyes welled with tears. She bundled me into a wheelchair and pushed me out into the courtyard to get some sun. While she stepped away to grab lunch, my phone rang again. It was Ethan. His voice boomed through the speaker, laced with fury. "Chloe, sending threats to Jessica? Have you completely lost your mind?" "Didn't I tell you that the second these ten days are up, I'm cutting ties with her completely? You couldn't even give me ten damn days?!" I really didn't have ten days left. My voice came out as a fragile whisper. "Ethan, I didn't threaten her. She sent me a video to rub it in my face." "Her chat log with you is completely clean—there's no video! If you're going to claim she sent something to disgust you, then spit it out! What was in it?" Every single frame of that video was burned into my mind. Yet with the words sitting on the tip of my tongue, I suddenly couldn't bring myself to say them. Ethan let out an angry, incredulous laugh. "Threatening Jessica on one hand, and having Hailey blow up my phone claiming your condition is getting worse on the other. Bravo, Chloe. Really, well done." "Let me make this crystal clear: even if you literally dropped dead today, I wouldn't cut this trip short by a single second. Stop the sneaky manipulation!" Hailey walked back just in time to hear every single word through the speaker. She stood frozen in shock for a long time before hanging her head in deep guilt. "I... I just wanted him to come see you. I didn't mean to make him think you were lying..." I forced my lips into a faint smile. "It's okay. Can you take me back inside?" Hailey nodded. As she pushed the chair, she couldn't help but murmur, "You feel lighter again." Only then did I notice how hollow my frame had become. The hospital gown that had fit me properly just days ago now hung off my shoulders like a loose sack.The final countdown arrived far more abruptly than I anticipated. And it was far more agonizing than I had ever imagined. My body completely rejected food, and I grew so weak I couldn't even lift my arms. Blood would suddenly spill from my lips when I spoke, when I coughed, or even when I simply closed my eyes to rest. For three straight days, an IV drip was the only thing keeping me alive. Watching my vitals plunge hour by hour, Hailey frantically dialed Ethan's number over and over again. Not a single call went through. Her eyes were rimmed in red as she looked down at me. I managed a weak smile and shook my head, silently telling her it was fine. I had never imagined that at the very end of my life, the only person left caring for me would be a stranger hired to do a job. Refusing to give up, Hailey dialed the number one more time. This time, someone finally answered. Her face lit up as she hit the speaker button and held the phone close to me. But Ethan's voice was sharp and laced with pure venom. "Chloe, you really know how to pull strings, don't you? You actually managed to track down the specialist I pulled favors to book for Jessica's surgery follow-up?" "The doctor says she's going on annual leave tomorrow, which means Jessica and I have to cut the trip short and fly back right now. Are you happy now?" When a person is dying, their brain naturally latches onto whatever shred of comfort it can find. Tomorrow was my final day on earth. I would actually get to see Ethan one last time. But in the very next second, a sound drifted through the background of the call. It was Jessica, softly weeping. That was when reality crashed down on me. Ethan hadn't picked up for me. He had called to unleash his anger on behalf of Jessica. My composure shattered. Spite took over, and I rasped into the receiver, "Thrilled. Making Jessica cry before I die? Of course I'm thrilled." "What about you, Ethan? Isn't that the exact reaction you wanted when you picked up the phone? Are you satisfied now?" When Ethan spoke again, his disgust was palpable. "Chloe, I genuinely wish I had never met you. Then I wouldn't have had to suffer through this miserable guilt just because you tossed me a piece of bread years ago." The line went dead, but his words continued to echo endlessly in my ears. Hailey quietly slipped out of the room, giving me space to break down. Yet I couldn't even summon a single tear. I just lay there in silence, waiting for the end to arrive. I saw the pale morning light spill through the window blinds, and then my consciousness began to drift away. The quiet room suddenly erupted into chaos. "Clear the way! Move!" "We don't have time for the OR—get me the crash cart, now!" My body jerked violently into the air and crashed back onto the mattress. Over and over again, the shocks tore through me. Until finally, everything went still. The doctor lowered his head, breathing out a heavy sigh. "No pulse. She's gone." My soul drifted upward, detaching from my lifeless shell. I turned around and saw Ethan stepping into the hallway. He was rolling a suitcase with one hand, Jessica trailing right behind him. He was still speaking to her in a gentle, apologetic tone. "I'm so sorry, Jessica. Once your appointment is done, I'll make her apologize to you properly." Jessica put on her most understanding face. "It's okay, Ethan. I don't hold it against her." As soon as the words left her mouth, she glanced toward the commotion down the hall. Ethan looked over too. "Wait here. I'll go see what's happening." With that, he pushed his way through the gathering crowd. Before he could even get a clear view of the bed, the nurse's steady voice cut through the air. "Time of death: September 22nd, 2026, 10:11 AM. Patient Chloe Foster, Room 315. Resuscitation unsuccessful."