Five Years, Without Meaning

I sat in the living room, staring at the clock on the wall that kept moving forward. It had been more than three hours since Damien had left me at the restaurant. I'd tried to contact him many times, but my calls were never picked up. My cell phone lay on the table, the screen repeatedly showing missed calls making my chest feel even tighter. I shouldn't have waited for him. I knew that. Yet, part of me still hoped he would come home with a reasonable explanation. Just when I was about to give up and go to sleep, the front door opened. I quickly stood up, but my steps stopped when I saw the figure that entered with Damien. Selene. She looked weak, leaning against Damien with a pale expression on her face. Her long, flowing hair was a little messy, giving the impression as if she had just had a rough night. However, that's not what makes my chest tighten. As Damien closed the door and helped her walk in, Selene glanced at me, and there, behind her fragile expression, I saw something different. A smile. Fleeting, small, and triumphant. I clasped my hands together. "Damien," I called, trying to remain calm despite my inner voice screaming. "What does this mean?" I asked, waiting for an answer. Damien looked at me for a moment, before refocusing on Selene. He helped her sit on the sofa carefully as if she was made of glass. "I can't leave her alone, Thea," he replied in a tone as if it was the most sensible thing in the world. "She's still sick," Damien said again with his eyes on Selene's face. I pressed my teeth together. "You can take her to the hospital, or have someone look after her. Not bring her here Damien," I said with an unhappy face. "Althea, I can't leave her alone in this condition," Damien said. His face seemed to say that he liked what I said. "You even left me alone at the restaurant," I snapped, unable to contain my anger. Damien let out a long sigh, like someone who was exhausted from an argument that he thought was unnecessary. "This isn't about you and I. This is about Selene needing help." I laughed sarcastically. "So, what about me? I waited for you for hours, called you countless times, and you didn't even care." "Don't be selfish, Althea!" he said, raising his tone slightly. I gasped. Those words were like a slap to my face. Before I could reply, Selene took a deep breath and tried to get up. "Damien, I shouldn't be here. Althea was right. I'm just inconveniencing you," she said softly with a voice full of resignation. I knew what she was doing. Damien immediately restrained her, pressing her shoulders to sit back down. "Don't push yourself." Selene smiled weakly. "I'm fine... You shouldn't have brought me. If anything happens to me, it's not your responsibility," she said with a face made even sadder. I looked at her with narrowed eyes. She played her role perfectly. "Selene," Damien said in an emotional tone. "Don't talk like that. I can't stay silent when I know you're sick." "Sick?" I snorted. "I don't see her as half-dead, Damien. If she can stand up and talk like that, I'm sure she can go home by herself." I said in an annoyed tone. "Althea!" Damien's voice raised, making my chest feel even heavier. "Can you stop being so heartless?" he said with a sharp look in his eyes. I fell silent. Couldn't believe that this was happening. Selene bit her lip, bowing her head as if feeling guilty. "I... I don't want to be a problem between you guys." I stifled a laugh. I was almost amazed at how perfectly she played the role of a hurt woman. Damien shook his head and crouched down in front of Selene, taking her hand gently. "Don't think like that. I just want you to be okay." My heart sank. I had been with him for five years. I waited for him, and understood his every excuse and his busy schedule, but not once did he ever look at me with that kind of gaze. The thoughtful gaze he was now giving Selene. I took a deep breath and turned around. "Do as you please, Damien!" I didn't care anymore. If I stayed here, I didn't know how long I could survive without breaking. I walked past them, heading towards my room without turning around. For the first time in this relationship, I felt like a stranger in my own home.

I woke up with my head a little heavy. For a moment, I reached out to the side of the bed, but all I found was a cold mattress. Damien wasn't there. A strange feeling tickled my chest, but I tried to ignore it. I got up, walked to the bathroom to wash my face, and then, stepped out of the room. Once downstairs, the smell of cooking filled the air. I pause for a moment. Normally, Damien rarely cooked for himself, except for me. But today...? My steps stopped in the doorway of the dining room. Damien is standing in the kitchen, stirring something on a pan and then, pouring juice into a glass. Meanwhile, at the dining table, Selene sat relaxed with a spoiled smile on her face. She's wearing Damien's white shirt, the one I often wear as a nightgown. I clenched my fist. Damien turned his head when he noticed me. "Are you awake?" he asked. I nodded without answering. My gaze was still on Selene, who was now playing with the ends of her sleeves while smiling at Damien. "I forgot to make breakfast for you because Selene is very hungry," Damien said as he placed a plate in front of Selene. I fell silent. In the five years I'd been with him, Damien had never done that for me, I'd always served and he'd just enjoyed the food. But today? He could do that because Selene was hungry. "Althea, aren't you eating with us?" Selene's voice sounded soft, but I could feel the satisfaction hidden behind it. I shifted my gaze to her. "No." Selene lowered her head slightly. "I didn't know that you wanted breakfast made too. I just told Damien that I was very hungry, and he made his move. I didn't mean to-" "That's enough," I cut in, giving her a sharp look. Damien frowned. "Althea, there's no need to yell at him like that. Don't get me wrong, Selene just recovered, so I'm just helping her. You can make your breakfast, right?" he said so casually. I chuckled softly. So, now I have to cook by myself because Selene needs his attention more? I looked at Damien for a long time, searching for the slightest hint of guilt, or realization in his eyes. However, all I found was his flat expression, as if I was just a shadow in this room. I took a deep breath and then, exhaled slowly. "I don't need breakfast with you guys," I said before turning around and walking away. Damien doesn't hold me back. Didn't ask if I was okay. Didn't try to explain. As if I wasn't important to him. *** I stood by the pool, letting the wind hit my face. It took me a while to calm down after what happened earlier. But apparently, calmness wasn't something I could get today. Light steps were heard approaching then a familiar voice followed. "Althea, you're really lucky to have survived five years with Damien," Selene said in a disgustingly sweet tone. I turned my head with both hands clasped in front of my chest. "I didn't expect her to last that long." I didn't react, still in my original position. I knew exactly where this was going. Selene came closer and then stopped beside me. "In the past, Damien always picked me up after work. Does he do that for you too?" she asked with a mocking look on her face. I let go of my hands that were in front of my chest and let them clench at my sides. "Does he also stroke your hair whenever you fall asleep in his car?" he continued in a tone full of false nostalgia. "And, does he also hold you close when it rains, as if you're the only person who matters to him?" he said with an unusual smile. I averted my eyes, trying to ignore the pain that was starting to gnaw at my chest. It wasn't that I didn't want to fight, it was just that I was too lazy to fight with a woman like Selene. Selene chuckled softly. "Ah, I forgot. That was back then when I was the only woman in his heart. Before I left and gave you the chance to replace me temporarily." My eyes narrowed, but remained calm. "Temporarily?" Selene smiled with satisfaction. "Yes. I left, and you took my place. But now I'm back, and see for myself who he prefers." I bit my lip, holding back the anger that was about to explode. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me angry. But, she didn't stop provoking my emotions. Selene moved her face forward. "Do you think Damien loves you? No, Althea. You're just my replacement," she whispered in a sharp tone, right in my ear. "Someone he kept around because I didn't exist. And now I'm here. Then, what does he still need you for?" he said with a laugh. She shook her hair. It didn't look like she was sick. My heart sank. I shouldn't let his words mess with my mind, but part of me knew that there was truth in them. Damien has indeed changed since Selene came back. He was no longer the man who always made sure I was okay. And I hated that fact. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but Selene only became more aggressive towards me, her voice sounding full of satisfaction. "You know what? Damien used to say that I was his home. His place to come back to. But after I left, he must have felt lost. And you... you're just a temporary stopover until he finds me again." she said with a competitive look. I suddenly wanted to laugh. How ridiculous this woman was. "So you think, Damien is just using me?" I asked finally trying to serve her words, looking at her with a flat expression. Selene gave a small smile as she shrugged. "I didn't say that. But see for yourself. He brought me to his house without caring about your feelings. He would rather take care of me than spend time with you. This morning, he didn't even remember to make you breakfast." The woman laughed with satisfaction. My fist grew stronger. I felt like grabbing them. "And, that's a reason for you to continue being around him as a troublemaker?" I asked as I raised one eyebrow and smiled slightly. Selene chuckled. "Althea, I'm just taking back what should have been mine in the first place." I gave her a sharp look, but before I could reply, her facial expression suddenly changed. Her lips curled slyly, and before I could realize what was happening, she stepped back and then, suddenly threw herself into the pool. "A-Althea!" Selene cried out, her voice trembling. "I... I'm sorry," I widened my eyes, my body stiffening instantly. Shit! Footsteps could be heard running over. I turned my head and saw that Damien was already there. His eyes widened when he saw Selene who was flailing in the water. Without thinking, he jumped into the pool. I could only stand still, my jaw clenched tightly as Damien pulled Selene to the edge of the pool. Selene's body was soaking wet, her shoulders shaking as if she had just experienced something horrible. Damien helped her sit up, while his hands anxiously wiped her face. "Selene, are you okay?" asked Damien frantically. Selene coughed a little while nodding slowly. "I-I didn't expect Althea to push me," she said. My eyes widened even bigger. "What?!" Damien immediately turned to me, his eyes sharp and full of anger. "Althea! What are you doing?" I stepped forward, unable to believe what I had just heard. "I didn't touch her! He pushed his own body," I said defensively. "But I saw you guys talking before this happened!" Damien exclaimed. "Do you hate Selene that much to do this?" Damien said, not believing me. I laughed sarcastically, not believing the accusation. "So now you trust her more than me?" I asked with an annoyed face. Selene shook her head weakly. "Damien, I can leave here. I don't want to keep causing trouble between you guys. If I stay here, maybe Althea will continue to hurt me," she said with a trembling voice as if she wanted to cry. My chest rose and fell with anger. I knew what she was doing. And damn it, Damien just believed it. "If Selene leaves this house, then I'll leave too!" Damien snarled sharply. I froze, feeling something inside me shatter into a million pieces. Selene looked down, pretending to wipe away tears, while Damien helped her up and then, led her into the house. I remained standing there, letting the cold wind hit my face, while the water in the pond still sounded a little noisy, a silent witness to the lie that had just happened. I could only laugh. This was too much. I was fed up with all this.

I stood upstairs, leaning against the guardrail, looking down at the living room below. Damien sat on the sofa with Selene, the two of them joking around with laughter that sounded so light. Now and then, Damien would feed Selene pieces of fruit and snacks, while she smiled indulgently as if enjoying the attention. My chest felt tight. I was like a stranger in my own home. None of them were aware of my existence, or perhaps they were deliberately ignoring me. I clenched my fists, trying to suppress the increasingly heavy feeling in my chest. I didn't want to care, I didn't want to think about it. But with each passing day, Damien's treatment made it clear that I was sure of my choice. *** In the morning, I sat on the living room sofa, staring at the television screen, trying to enjoy myself. Just as I was about to take a sip of hot tea, the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching. "I made you some coffee," Selene said, holding out the coffee. "I remember Damien saying that you like black coffee without sugar." She said again as she smiled meaningfully at me. I raised my face, looking at her with furrowed brows. 'What? Black coffee without sugar? Does Damien want to kill me? Doesn't he know that I'm allergic to it?' Selene smiled a sweet, fake smile. “I just wanted to get closer to you. After all, we live in the same house now," she said shamelessly. I snorted. "Don't joke around, Selene! I'm allergic to coffee and Damien knows it," I said with a glare. "Oh, my God. How could Damien forget this? Why does he only remember what I like and what I don't? It hurts, Althea," she said with a sad face then smiled slyly and pulled the coffee back towards her. Hearing that, my heart hurt. "If there's nothing important, then leave! I don't want to be disturbed," I shooed her away with my eyes fixed on the television screen. Selene chuckled casually. "I just want to chat like yesterday. You don't mind, do you?" I paused. What did she say? Chatting. Instead, yesterday she accused me of pushing her. What a sneaky woman. Selene played with her coffee cup, still standing. "I still remember, Damien used to bring me coffee every morning. He never forgot the measure. If I was sick, he would feed me himself, without me asking," she said, smiling so broadly. I don't know what she was thinking. I gripped my cup tightly. "Ah, and I also remember how he always rubbed my head before going to bed," she continued, her voice made soft. "You know, that habit never changed. Except..." She looked at me with sparkling eyes. "Does he still do that to you?" he asked without finishing his sentence. I stood up, feeling disgusted by his talk. "I'm not interested in hearing about your past with Damien." Selene smiled smugly and then said, "Why, do you feel disrespected by him?" I gave her a sharp look and said back, "I just feel sorry for you, Selene. You came back and thought you could take everything away from me. But in reality, you're just a pathetic woman who can't let go of the past." Suddenly her smile disappeared. Her eyes narrowed, full of hatred. Suddenly, before I could move, she shouted so loudly that I was startled. I was wide-eyed as I saw Selene drop her coffee cup into her hands, the hot coffee pouring out as she continued to scream in pain. As if that wasn't enough, she quickly threw herself to the floor, her forehead hitting the side of the chair with a loud thud. I was startled, but before I could help her, the sound of quick steps could be heard. "Selene!" Damien ran towards her, his face filled with worry. He immediately knelt, examining Selene's reddened hands and forehead. I opened my mouth, wanting to explain, but Selene burst into tears first, saying, "I just wanted to bring Althea some coffee. But she got angry and poured it on me and pushed me." My eyes widened. "What? That's not true! She-" A hard slap landed on my cheek. I jerked back. Stinging ran down my face, but what hurt more was the fact that Damien had slapped me, without hearing my explanation. "Althea! You've gone too far!" Her voice trembled with anger. "Selene was just recovering, and you hurt her instead." "Damien, I don't-" "I know you don't like her, but just because I didn't make breakfast for you yesterday and bring Selene here, you got angry and took it out on Selene? Are you out of your mind?" he said with a sharp glint in his eyes. I fell silent, my chest tightening. Damien grasped Selene's shoulders, helping her up. "I won't let you keep hurting her." I held back the pain in my lip that had been split by his slap. "You trust her like that, Damien?" He gave me a hateful look. "I should have realized from the start, that you're not a good woman, Althea." I didn't have time to react when Damien pushed me to the floor. My head hit the table hard. The pain was immediate before everything went black. Before I lost consciousness, I could still hear Selene sobbing and Damien frantically calling her name. Not my name. But the name of the woman who had ruined everything.

I woke up with my head still feeling heavy. My vision was blurry for a moment, before finally adjusting to the bright white light in this room. The distinctive smell of antiseptic immediately filled my sense of smell. Hospital? I blinked my eyes, trying to get up slowly. The pain in my head immediately struck, making me groan softly. I looked around, searching for someone. But, there was no one here. No Damien, no Selene. My heart raced as the door to the room opened and a nurse walked in. The woman smiled kindly as soon as she saw me awake. "Good news, you're awake. How are you feeling?" she asked gently as she checked the IV in my arm. I swallowed, my throat feeling dry. "Who brought me here?" I asked curiously. The nurse frowned for a moment, before smiling again. "There was a man and woman who said they found you on the side of the road. They didn't recognize you." She replied with a smile. I froze. "But," the nurse continued in a casual tone, "I did hear the woman call her boyfriend Damien." She said while tidying up the medical equipment she was carrying. My whole body felt stiff instantly. I didn't know how to react. As if I had just been stabbed in the back, I could only stare at the nurse blankly. So, Damien brought me here, but didn't even acknowledge who I was to him? He left me for dead after what happened? I bit my lip, holding back the sob that was about to break out. The nurse seemed to notice the change in my expression but said nothing. After finishing her brief examination, she walked away, leaving me alone in this room. And once the door closed, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Damien was gone from me. I took a deep breath, trying to control myself. This was enough. I wasn't going to stay any longer in a relationship that was unwanted by the person who was supposed to love me. With trembling hands, I reached for my cell phone on the small table beside the bed. My fingers moved quickly to search for the one name I hadn't called in a long time. Lucas. It doesn't take long before the line connects. "Hello, Lucas," I said in a shaky voice, fighting back tears. "Althea?" Lucas' voice sounded worried from the other side. "What's wrong with you? You sound strange." "I'm in the hospital," I said quietly, trying to keep my voice steady. "Can you pick me up?" There was an annoyed sigh from Lucas. "Sure. I'll be right there." I hung up the phone and wiped away the tears that still lingered on my cheeks. I had to get out of here. I got off the bed, pressed the emergency button, and asked the nurse to come and remove my IV and Lucas would be the guarantor. After Lucas arrives and takes care of the hospital paperwork, I ask him not to take me straight to his place. There was one thing I had to do first. "Are you sure you want to go back there?" asked Lucas in a disapproving tone, as soon as I said I wanted to go back home for a while. "I'm just going to get my essentials. I don't want to be there any longer," I replied firmly while looking Lucas in the face with conviction. Lucas's face seemed to look annoyed but eventually nodded. "Alright. I'll wait in the car." Once I got home, I entered cautiously. I knew Damien wasn't here. It was evident from Selene's post that she was eating dinner. It was better because I didn't want to meet him. Quickly, I grabbed the essentials, clothes, documents, and a few other personal items. I didn't bring much. I just wanted to leave as quickly as possible, before Damien returned. As my hand reached for the small suitcase, my eyes unconsciously caught our wedding photo that was still hanging on the wall. I looked closer, staring at my happy smiling face beside Damien. It was like looking at memories that no longer belonged to me. Without thinking, I took the photo off the wall and placed it on the bed. I didn't need to carry it with me. It no longer meant anything to me. My eyes, unbidden, gaze down at my hand, looking at the ring that's still on my ring finger. The ring that Damien had given me in our simple proposal, with the promise that he would always love me and take care of me. A promise that now feels empty. With trembling hands, I slowly remove the ring. It hurts more than I imagined as if I'm letting go of a part of myself. But, I must not be weak. Without hesitation, I placed the ring on the table, leaving it there as a symbol of the end. "We're done, Damien. Enjoy your life with Selene," I said as I took a firm step. I walked out of the room and closed the door without looking back. My feet move quickly towards Lucas' car.