I Would’ve Died for You, but You Killed Me

Randolf’s POV “Randolf!” “We already ordered! You want us to get stuck with the bill and look like humiliating idiots at this restaurant?!” “If you keep acting like this, don’t bother playing the piano at our birthday party the day after tomorrow!” “Jeremy can play too—he’s way better than you!” “Then go ask him. I won’t be coming to the party.” “Randolf! You—” I locked my phone and ignored the series of video calls coming up. Leaning against the hospital wall, I stared blankly at the gray sky outside. Maybe it’s because my two childhood friends have gotten so used to me supporting them that my efforts have become something they take for granted. Ever since they convinced themselves it was Jeremy who saved them during that incident, they’ve been endlessly grateful to him. When they found out he was struggling financially, they started supporting him. I refused, so they stole my bank card. Under Jeremy’s manipulation, they even had the nerve to take out high-interest loans! When I confronted them, they just reasoned out, “Why are you so mad at Jeremy? We’re just helping a poor student. It’s called being kind!” I’ve done everything I could for them, even saving them from the brink of disaster one last time. There was a time when I felt torn. Both Browers twins—Nella, the older one, and Allen, the younger—confessed their feelings to me. I was always caught in the middle, afraid that choosing one would hurt the other. I kept overthinking. But now, I no longer need to agonize over whether to marry the elder sister or the younger one. I choose neither! I didn’t sleep well that night. A faint pain in my chest kept troubling me as if the shards of the broken knife were shifting inside. When I got up in the morning, my face was devoid of color, pale to the point of looking sickly. I quickly boiled some water and lay down on my cold bed, trying to warm myself up. Then, I heard banging at the door. “Hey, open the door!” “Randolf! Open the door for us!” Nella and Allen were back. “Randolf, what’s the meaning of this? Why did you change the lock?” They sounded irritated, upset that I’d replaced the locks overnight. I didn’t want to face them, but they wouldn’t stop yelling. So, dragging my tired body, I went to open the door. When the door swung open, Nella and Allen stood there, glaring at me impatiently. “Randolf!” “Do you even know how we—” Halfway through their words, their eyes fell on my bandaged hand, and their expressions froze in disbelief. “Randolf, your hand—” “—what happened?!” They rushed over, suddenly looking concerned. I just replied flatly, “It’s broken—courtesy of the debt collectors after you.” “That’s impossible!” They shook their heads in unison, refusing to believe me. “Jeremy guaranteed it. The loans we took out were legit!” “Stop trying to act like the victim here. If you’d just paid it off like a normal person, this wouldn’t have happened.” “Do you really have to play this sympathy card? Is everything about competing with Jeremy? Honestly, you’re really exhausting!” I just stayed silent. In the past, I did make a fuss when I found out they were tangled up with Jeremy. After all, I was the one who shielded them so they wouldn't get stabbed by some stalker, not him. But like I said, that was in the past. Suddenly, Nella stepped closer, grabbing my uninjured left hand. She traced a delicate finger across my palm, her gaze intense. “Randolf, tomorrow is our birthday party. Stop being so stubborn.” “Come spend it with us, okay?” It was a little secret Grandma once used to comfort us as kids. When we were young and had nightmares, she would lightly trace her finger over our palms, saying it would keep us safe.

Randolf’s POV As we got older, it became our little secret, something only the three of us shared. It symbolized forgiveness and being there for each other. A single stroke across the palm meant letting the past go. I didn’t say a word—just nodded in silent agreement. That’s when Allen suddenly noticed something. Her sharp eyes locked onto my hand, and her face darkened as she blurted out, “Randolf! Where’s the tattoo? We promised you’ll only have it removed once you choose one of us! What happened?” I turned to her and answered flatly, “It’s gone.” She wouldn’t drop it, her voice rising in frustration. “What do you mean it’s gone? Put it back! It’s not even Christmas Eve yet—you can’t remove it yet!” “Enough!” Nella cut her off. She glanced at my right hand, her eyes full of meaning. “We’re going to get ready, Randolf. Don’t be late, okay?” “Nella!” I watched them walk away, and I couldn't help but feel sadder than I’d like to admit. When did they become so heartless? How could they not grieve for Grandma? I turned and headed back to my room, grabbing the expensive gifts I’d carefully picked out for them. Gifts for what I knew would be the last celebration we’d ever have together. As I was leaving, my phone buzzed with a series of messages. [Boy, you’re a loser who can’t even get to college, and you’re still trying to compete with me? LMAO!] [Your two little childhood sweethearts already agreed to let me play the piano tomorrow. Guess what? They’re gonna dance to my music!] [See? You’re nothing but a loser!] [They’re mine now!] I replied calmly. [You want them? They’re all yours. No one’s fighting you.] He texted me back four more times. [Oh, quit pretending, dude!] [Are you mad? Think you can outsmart me?] [So what if you saved them back then? I pulled a few strings, and now they think it was me. You can’t even afford the surgery to get that blade out of your chest, can you?] [You’re a dead man walking, you pathetic loser!] The familiar pain in my chest hit me hard again. I gripped the edge of the table, my fingers digging into it, turning white as I fought through the suffocating pressure. Once the pain passed, I pulled out my phone and called the forest ranger office up in the San Francisco Peaks. “Hi, I saw your job listing. I saw you’re really short on staff?” “To be honest, my health’s not great, but I can work hard.” “Can I join your team?” The HR on the other end hesitated before asking, “How much hardship can you take?” I answered without hesitation, my voice steady. “A lifetime. I’ll dedicate my whole life to protecting the mountain range.” By the time I got to the birthday party, it was already halfway through. I’d been planning this for six months, booking the best restaurant in the city to make it perfect. Under the spotlight, Nella and Allen stood on stage, both dressed in stunning white evening gowns, ready to perform. Guests murmured in admiration all around me. “Wow, Nella and Allen… They’re both absolutely gorgeous!” “Right? I wonder which lucky guy they’ll choose.” “Isn’t it obvious? Jeremy, of course!” “He’s the one who paid for this entire birthday party for those two girls!” I clenched my fists, my face contorting. I planned this party! I paid for all of it! How did Jeremy end up getting the credit? “Hey, don’t jump to conclusions! Didn’t they have a childhood friend who dropped out of school? Wasn’t it him?” “Jeremy? That broke kid? How could he afford all this?” “You seriously think Jeremy’s poor? I tell you what—I’m not making up a story! The twins said so themselves!” A bitter smile crept onto my face. So, Nella and Allen were the ones spreading these lies. Was it because they went to college and got a taste of a bigger world? Is that why they’re ashamed of me now? Anger churned inside me, my chest tightening again as the stabbing pain returned.

Randolf’s POV The music started, and Jeremy stepped onto the stage, wearing a crisp white suit. He smiled and waved at the crowd, and the twins couldn’t take their eyes off him. Amid the gasps and whispers of admiration, their gazes met his, the moment practically glowing with envy. But once upon a time, they used to imagine standing next to me. As Jeremy played the piano, Nella and Allen began to dance. The hall buzzed with energy, reaching its peak as guests’ cheers and applause erupted. Nella and Allen greeted everyone with smiles that lit up the room. But when their eyes drifted in my direction, they skimmed right past me—like I wasn’t even there. I sat alone in a quiet corner, swallowed by the noise as if the world had forgotten I existed. And then, out of nowhere, a memory flashed before my eyes—the promise I made when we were kids. I could see it so clearly: their wide, innocent eyes, brimming with hope as they looked at me. “Randolf, when we grow up, I want to dance in front of everyone at least once.” “I’ve never stood in front of a crowd in my whole life. Will you help us?” “I will,” I promised. “Then we’ll dance just for you, Randolf. And then, you can choose one of us to be your bride.” That soft, fleeting touch on my face from that day—it’s stayed with me, buried in my heart like a dream. And tonight, I finally helped them fulfill their wish. But the reality? It couldn’t be further from the dream. When the music stopped, they stood there, radiant, in the most beautiful moment of their lives. I placed my gift quietly on the table, ready to leave. But before I could, Jeremy called out to me from the stage. “Wait! Tonight, we have a very special guest with us—the childhood friend of our school Belles! Come on, Randolf! Turn around and say hi to everyone!” In an instant, the spotlight swung toward me, locking me in place. Every eye in the room turned my way, sizing me up based on my suit. Their voices were full of disdain. “That’s the guy who didn’t even get into college?” someone whispered. “Yeah, I heard the school Belles were super close to him when they were kids!” “Close? So what? Without a degree, his life’s going nowhere. Guys like him are nothing compared to us.” I ignored the murmurs, my gaze cutting through the crowd, searching for them—those two women on stage. I was asking them, silently. ‘This is what you call friendship?’ ‘Putting me on display for everyone to laugh at?’ ‘Not even saying a word in my defense?’ But they wouldn’t meet my eyes. They looked away, saying nothing. I felt so sad that I just wanted to laugh it off. Once upon a time, they cared about me so much. If someone made fun of me, they would’ve jumped to my defense without hesitation. But now? They just stood there, letting the crowd mock me like the two didn't care anymore. Meanwhile, Jeremy’s smug grin widened. Holding back a laugh, he said, “Randolf, here’s your moment to shine! Come on, let’s all see what you brought for our two princesses tonight!” All eyes turned to the small gift box in my hand. I knew there was no way out, so I silently unwrapped it and stepped onto the stage, handing it to Nella and Allen. The moment the necklaces inside were revealed, someone in the crowd gasped. “Oh my God! Those are limited-edition luxury pieces from this year—they’ve got to cost tens of thousands each!” My childhood friends froze, their hands covering their mouths and their eyes glistening with emotion. “Randolf, this… this is way too much,” they stammered. Their reaction should’ve moved me. But all I felt was sadness, heavy and unshakable. Those necklaces weren’t just gifts. They were treasures Grandma refused to sell, even when her illness caused her unbearable pain. She had told me, “Every girl should have something to her name. Promise me you’ll give these to them.” And yet, standing there, I knew—Nella and Allen wouldn’t remember her kindness. They just reached out for the necklaces.

Randolf’s POV But right then, Jeremy suddenly snatched the necklaces from my hands. Frowning, he said, “Randolf, how could you give fake stuff to the princesses?” “Fake?!” Hearing that, everyone’s faces changed. Their eyes darted toward me with suspicion. Even the two girls looked embarrassed. I swallowed my anger and said, “Are you just going to make stuff up? I spent real money on this!” “Randolf, come on,” Jeremy scoffed. “Even lies have limits. Where would you get the money to buy something this expensive? You couldn’t even afford to host their birthday party!” That was it. I couldn’t hold back anymore. “Bullshit!” I shouted. “I’ve paid for every single one of their birthday parties!” But Jeremy didn’t get mad. Instead, he smirked and said, “Are you mad? Why don’t you ask the princesses who really hosted it?” I turned to them, expecting the truth. They knew. I’d explained everything to them before. There was no way they’d— “Randolf, can you stop making trouble, please?” Nella said, frowning. “If you don’t want to keep the promise we made back then, fine. But don’t lie about it.” “The restaurant owner already told us that Jeremy worked for months to put this together for us,” Allen continued. “And you? You make 45 bucks an hour when you actually work, yet you always claim you’re broke.” I froze, staring at them in disbelief. The words hit me like a punch to the gut. “I paid for all of this!” I repeated. “And now you think the gift I bought is fake?” “I had to spend all my savings when Grandma got sick!” I added. “Did either of you even visit her while she was dying in her bed?” But they ignored me completely, their expressions full of irritation. “Enough, Randolf. Stop pretending.” “Jeremy showed us a video of Grandma—she’s perfectly fine!” “Stop using her as an excuse! And let’s not forget, you were the one who accused us of taking your bank card!” “Jeremy saved our lives. Why can’t you just be grateful to him?” “You’re the one who’s stopped caring about us!” I stared at them in shock. They didn’t feel like the same girls I’d grown up with. “So no matter what I say, I’m just lying, and Jeremy is always right?” I asked. “Fine. If that’s how you see it, then go ahead and believe him!” “Go ahead and trust your perfect little ‘poor student.’” Anger boiled inside me as I turned and stormed off. “Randolf!” Their voices called me back. I stopped and turned around. Before I could say anything, two necklaces came flying at my face, landing hard on the ground in front of me. “Take your fake stuff and leave!” Nella said coldly. “We don’t want it!” The diamonds and pearls scattered everywhere just like my pride. I felt every eye on me, humiliation burning my face. My vision blurred with rage as I looked up at my so-called friends. And that’s when I saw it—something I wish I’d never seen. Jeremy was holding both their hands. His fingers gently stroked their palms, comforting them. That was our thing! Something only we know! I stumbled back, barely catching myself before I fell. Apparently, I wasn’t their only one anymore. I turned and walked away as fast as I could, their voices drowned out by the whispers and laughter of the guests around me. For the next few days, Nella, Allen, and I didn’t speak at all. The only connection I had with them was through Jeremy’s Facebook. They were everywhere. Climbing snowy mountains with him. Watching sunsets. Walking along streets, feeling the sea breeze. Sitting beside him in class. Eating lunches together. And me? I stayed alone in my cramped apartment, packing up my things. Getting ready to leave. On Christmas Eve, I heard from Allen—after all this time. It was voice messages. “Randolf, we know you’re mad, but it’s not like we don’t love you.” “Today’s the day we agreed on. It’s time for you to make your choice.” Randolf’s POV “Nella’s in Room 401, and I’m in Room 402.” “Whichever door you knock on, both of us will wish you the best.” Her tone was full of hope and excitement like nothing bad had ever happened between us. I stared at the voice messages, my expression calm. Today wasn’t just the day of my 10-year promise to the two girls I’d grown up with—it was also the day I was going to leave for San Francisco Peaks. Before boarding the plane, I powered off my phone without hesitation, pulled my coat tighter, and stepped into the unknown. I didn’t look back.