One Cold Thought, a Sky Full of Stars

The next day was the Gilbert family dinner. I hadn't wanted to go. Then my mother-in-law called, and there was real warmth in her voice. “Olivia, you've been part of this family for three years now. The old lady's jade bracelet should be officially yours today.” I changed into a high-necked top to cover the needle marks on the back of my hand and the rash on my neck. The moment I walked in, Shirley Matthews was already sitting beside Jim. She'd changed into a pale dress, her face bright and healthy, with no trace of the woman who'd been gasping about her racing heart earlier that day. My mother-in-law's smile cooled when she saw her. “Why did Shirley come too?” Shirley hooked her arm through Jim's. “Jim was worried I'd sit at home overthinking everything on my own, so he insisted on bringing me along for the company.” My mother-in-law turned to me, an apology in her eyes. “Olivia, come here.” She opened a jewelry box. A clear, translucent jade bracelet lay inside. Then Jim's hand shot out and snapped the box shut. “Mom, Olivia can be careless with things. It doesn't really seem right to give her something this valuable, an old family piece like this.” My mother-in-law froze. “It's always been passed down to the eldest grandson's wife. How is that not right?” “Shirley grew up in this family. Let her wear it for a few days first, so Olivia doesn't knock it against something by accident and break your heart.” And with that, he slipped the bracelet straight onto Shirley's wrist. Shirley hurried to refuse. “I really can't…… Olivia will be upset if she sees this.” Jim held her wrist and pushed the bracelet a little further up her arm. “It's just a bracelet. What does she have to be upset about?” My mother-in-law's face went dark. I lowered my head and took a bite of food, but my stomach was churning. Then Shirley brought out a dessert. “I made mango mousse especially. Jim, this used to be your favorite.” As she spoke, she picked up a dish herself and set it down in front of me with a bright smile. “Olivia, you should try some too. I accidentally disturbed you at the house yesterday, so think of this mousse as my apology. I hope you won't stay angry with me, all right?” My chopsticks stopped. “I can't eat it. I'm allergic to mango.” Jim raised his eyes to me. “It's one little bite. Just taste it. It's not going to kill you.” Shirley's eyes went red at once. “Do you really hate me that much, Olivia…… you won't even touch a dessert I made with my own hands? I only wanted everyone to be happy……” The Gilbert relatives all started urging me. “Olivia, it's a family dinner. Everyone's having a nice time. Don't spoil it.” “Exactly. Shirley meant well. Just take one little bite to be polite.” Jim picked up the plate and came over to me. “Olivia. Apologize to Shirley.” “Why on earth should I apologize to her?” “She ran herself ragged over your family dinner, and you sit there scowling. Who's that supposed to be for?” Looking at that mango mousse, my breathing started to tighten. “Jim, I'm really going to have a reaction!” “Who are you trying to threaten with this act now?” He gripped my chin and brought the spoon to my lips. “Open. Eat it.” I clenched my teeth. Jim forced his hand harder, and cream smeared across the corner of my mouth. “Olivia, stop being childish. The elders are all here today. Don't make a scene in front of everyone.” The mango slid into my mouth, and my throat started itching fast. I shoved him away hard enough to knock over the chair. Shirley screamed. Jim looked at me with a cold face. “Olivia Donaldson, are you done with this performance yet?” I clutched the edge of the table, my breathing coming faster and faster. Jim looked down at me, his eyes full of disgust. “Olivia Donaldson, now you're playing dead. Whatever patience I had left for you is just about gone.” My mother-in-law was terrified, her hands shaking as she dug in her pocket for her phone. “Something's wrong with Olivia. Quick…… call 911!” Jim cut her off impatiently. “Mom, don't let her fool you.” He strode over, seized my arm, and dragged me toward the door. “If you like playing dead so much, go sit in the car and come to your senses. Stop embarrassing yourself in here.” He yanked me hard enough to send me stumbling, my knee slamming into the hard wooden back of a chair. From somewhere I found the strength to lower my head and bite down on the back of Jim's hand. He let go on reflex. I staggered back against the chair, gasping for air. My mother-in-law was frantic now. She shoved Jim aside and dialed 911 with trembling hands. “Jim, have you lost your mind? She really is allergic!” Seeing this, several relatives rushed over to hold Jim back. I curled up on the floor, my vision going black in waves. Everything around me was chaos. All I heard was him, standing a little way off, dropping two words. “Still acting.” In the emergency room, the doctor gave me an emergency allergy treatment and kept me for observation until the early hours. Jim never showed up. As the sky was starting to lighten, a bank alert suddenly popped up on my phone. 【Your supplementary card ending in 0678 has been suspended.】 Right after it came a message from Jim. 【Olivia Donaldson, since you're so proud, don't spend my money anymore.】

The next afternoon. I'd checked into a budget hotel near the hospital. My phone rang. "Is this Miss Donaldson? Your father's had a sudden acute heart attack. It's critical. You need to get to the hospital right away!" By the time I made it to the city hospital, my father had already been wheeled into the trauma bay. A nurse pushed a critical-condition notice into my hands. "Miss Donaldson, your father's suffered a massive heart attack with a complicating arterial tear. He needs surgery immediately!" My fingers were shaking so hard I couldn't hold the pen. "Then do it, please, just save him first..." The nurse sighed and slid the form toward me. "A hundred-thousand-dollar surgery deposit, paid in full within thirty minutes. The special imported materials have to be pulled in advance, so move fast. We really can't afford to lose any more time." A hundred thousand. I went through every account I had. Everything together came to less than ten thousand. The hardest year of Jim's startup, I'd handed over every dollar of the dowry my father gave me. He said he'd build me a home someday to make up for it. Now Shirley Matthews was living in that home, my father was lying in the trauma bay, and I couldn't even come up with a hundred thousand. The doctor pressed me again, so I had no choice but to call Jim. It rang a long time before anyone picked up. It was loud, someone laughing, shouting, "Shirley, make a wish!" My throat went tight. "Jim, lend me a hundred thousand. My dad's having a heart attack, they're trying to save him, the hospital needs a deposit." Two seconds of silence on his end. "Olivia, this again?" "Jim, I'm not messing with you! I'm at the ER downtown right now, you can check for yourself if you don't believe me!" "Your dad's had heart disease for years, all controlled with medication. Never acted up before, and now, out of all days, he needs emergency surgery on Shirley's birthday?" That little scoff of his, and my head went blank with a roar. "Yesterday you faked an allergy, today you're dragging your dad into the act. Can't you come up with something new?" I gripped the payment form tight. "Jim, I'm begging you, just this once. I'll pay the hundred thousand back." Then Shirley's voice came through, soft. "Jim, they're about to cut the cake, why aren't you over here yet?" His voice went gentle at once. "Coming." Then it turned cold again. "Stop calling. Don't come tonight and ruin the mood." The call cut off. Outside it was pouring. I didn't even grab an umbrella, just flagged a cab straight to the riverfront restaurant. When I pushed open the door to the private room, the whole place was lit up bright. Jim was standing in the crowd, head bent, fastening a necklace around Shirley's neck. Someone beside them egged him on. "Big spender, Jim. Over a hundred grand, custom piece, and he just hands it over." I was soaked through, and the moment I rushed in, everyone turned to look. At the sight of me, the smile faded off Jim's face. "Olivia, what exactly do you want?" I ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "The hospital needs a hundred-thousand-dollar deposit, my dad isn't going to make it! That necklace you just gave her cost more than that, so save a life first, all right?" The words dropped the room into instant silence. Shirley lifted a hand to touch the necklace at her throat, her eyes reddening on cue. "Olivia, is it because this necklace is too expensive, is that what's bothering you? Then I'll take it off right now and return it, I'll give you the money..." Her fingers had barely reached the clasp when Jim pinned her hand down. "Don't mind her." He shot me a glance. "Olivia, you're so jealous you'd invent an excuse like this?" The words stopped me cold. "You think I'd use my father's life to lie to you?" "You collapsed at the Gilbert house last night, and didn't that look pretty convincing too?" My phone buzzed again. Payment reminders from the hospital, one after another, popping up on the screen. My legs went weak. I stopped caring about any shred of dignity and bent down to clutch at the hem of his jacket. "Jim, I'm truly begging you, my dad can't die... he's the only family I have left!" He looked at me, his eyes full of disgust. "You want money? Fine." My head snapped up. He tipped his chin toward Shirley. "Kneel. Apologize to Shirley. Admit you faked it yesterday, and that today you came to wreck her birthday on purpose." Shirley waved her hands in a flustered rush, tears falling fast. "Jim, don't do this, Olivia was just panicking, I'm sure of it..." Jim didn't even look at her, his eyes fixed on me. "Want to save your dad? Then act like someone who's actually begging." I stared at him for a few seconds, and all I felt was how absurd it was. This man had once sworn to my father that he would keep me safe, always. Now he was making me kneel to the woman he doted on, in exchange for my father's life. My knees buckled. In the end I knelt anyway. The cold tile pressed against my knees, and my forehead struck the floor with a dull thud. "I'm sorry." Shirley covered her mouth, tears spilling over. "Olivia... don't do this, I really can't take it." Jim looked down at me from above. "Not sincere enough. Keep going." I struck my forehead against the floor again. It went numb, my vision starting to blur. I looked up at him. "Can you give me the money now?" Jim was silent a moment. Shirley backed away, crying, a hand pressed to her chest. "Jim, I feel awful... I never thought Olivia would go this far for money, did I do something wrong?" Jim reached out at once to steady her, then turned back to me. "Olivia, you'd really go through with kneeling." I froze solid. "What's that supposed to mean?" "Your lie's been exposed and you can still kneel this smoothly. People like you, give in once and there's always a second time." Then he turned his head and called security over. "See her out. Don't let her keep making a scene." I lunged and clawed desperately at the cuff of his pants. "Jim, you promised me!" He pried my fingers loose one by one. "I only said to apologize. I never promised any money." Two security guards seized my arms and dragged me toward the door. I fought with everything I had, screaming until my voice went raw. "My dad's going to die! Jim, if you don't lend me the money today, my dad is really going to die!" His arm around Shirley, he didn't even turn his head. "Then that's his fate." I was shoved roughly down the steps, my phone falling beside me, the screen suddenly lighting up. I threw myself at it and answered. The nurse's voice was low and urgent. "Miss Donaldson, the patient just went into severe ventricular fibrillation. The doctors are trying to save him, but it doesn't look good..." My hands shook so badly I could barely hold the phone. "I'm coming right back, I'll pay right now! Just wait for me a little longer, please, wait a little longer..." Through the glass door, Jim was bent down wiping Shirley's tears. She leaned against him, that necklace worth over a hundred thousand swinging in front of my eyes. The other end of the line suddenly broke into chaos. Someone shouted for the defibrillator, someone shouted for epinephrine. A moment later, when the nurse spoke again, her voice was much softer. "Miss Donaldson, your father may... not make it until you get here."

By the time I got back to the hospital, my father had already been wheeled into the ICU. The doctor said they had missed the best window to save him. He put it gently. But I understood. My father didn't have much time left. I watched him through the glass. A tube ran into his face, his eyes shut tight, the back of his hand a mess of tiny needle marks. When I was little, I was scared of shots, and he would coax me through them with a piece of candy. Later, when I got married, he took out the money he had saved for years and used it for my dowry. He was always afraid I'd suffer, marrying into the Gilbert family. Every time, I told him Jim treated me well. Three years of lies. At three in the morning, the doctor came out to tell me. My father hadn't made it. I stood there. It was a long time before the tears finally fell. Jim called. I didn't answer. He called more than a dozen times in a row, and in the end I picked up. "Where'd you run off to in the middle of the night again? Shirley's in a really bad way right now. Come back and talk to her, calm her down." "My dad's dead." The other end went quiet for a moment. Jim's voice dropped low. "...How did it happen so suddenly?" "Weren't you the one who swore up and down his condition could never kill him?" He didn't answer. After a while, he said, "My condolences. On the day of the funeral, I'll try to find time to make it." The day my father was buried, it rained hard. I stood at the cemetery gate for three hours, holding the urn. Jim didn't come. Shirley, though, posted to her feed. In the video, Jim had booked out an entire amusement park and was riding the carousel with her. She leaned against his shoulder, laughing, while he held her cotton candy. The caption was a single line. 【Thank you for always being willing to be by my side and take my mind off things.】 I watched that video until my fingers went stiff with cold. So this was what "trying to find time to make it" meant. Taking Shirley's mind off things. I shut off my phone and went back to our marital home one last time, to be done with Jim for good. The moment I walked in, I saw Shirley sitting in the living room, the Samoyed lying at her feet. The dog bed was lined with a heap of shredded paper. I went closer and looked. It was the painting my father had left me. When he was young, he'd asked a friend and waited a long time to get that out-of-print piece. Before he died, he even said that someday, when I had a child, we'd hang it in the nursery. Now it was torn to pieces, matted with dog hair and stains. "Who did this?" Shirley looked up, all innocence. "The dog's still little, he doesn't know any better... maybe he just got mischievous and dragged the painting out of the cabinet himself." Jim came down from upstairs, saw the state of me, and sighed first. "It's just an old painting. Broken is broken. At most I'll buy you a new one." I looked up. "That was what my father left me!" "Olivia, your dad is already gone. Do you really have to make a scene over some old painting?" Shirley held the dog and spoke softly. "Olivia... keep your voice down, don't frighten the dog, he's very fragile too." I stood up and walked to the bedroom. I started packing my things. Jim leaned in the doorway, watching me. "What are you packing for? Trying that whole running-away-from-home act again?" "I'm moving out." "If you're moving, wait a few days. Shirley's staying here right now. You dragging a suitcase back and forth will disturb her rest." The clothes in my hands dropped to the floor. Right then, Shirley suddenly screamed. "Ah! My diamond ring's gone!" She clutched her hand, crying so hard she could barely breathe. "It was right here in my pocket a second ago... that's the only thing I have left of my mother." Jim's face darkened, his eyes cutting toward me. "Olivia, open your suitcase. Let me check it." I didn't move. "I told you, I didn't take it." "You're this worked up today. Who knows what you'd do on impulse?" He kicked the suitcase over, and clothes and photo albums scattered across the floor. My father's death certificate slid out of an inner pocket. Jim stepped on it, the sole of his shoe grinding over my father's name. I stared at that foot, and suddenly I laughed. Laughed until the tears came down. Jim frowned. "At a time like this, you can actually still laugh?" I bent down and picked up the death certificate, carefully brushing off the dust. "I'm laughing at myself. Three years, and I lived it out as a joke. How pathetic." I took the divorce papers out of my bag and set them in front of him. "Sign it." At that, Jim's expression changed. "Over some trivial little thing like this, you want to fight me for a divorce?" "That's right. A divorce." "Olivia, think it through. Leave me, and where would you even have to go?" I pulled off my wedding ring and threw it down at his feet. The ring rolled twice and came to rest beside that trodden, dirtied death certificate. "Jim, you'd better never regret what happened today." I dragged my suitcase out the door. Behind me, he called my name. I didn't look back. The pre-dawn train pulled out, and the city outside the window kept falling further and further away. Holding my father's portrait, I finally let the tears fall, in spite of myself.