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After My Water-Fearing Boyfriend Rafted For Her, I Let Go
NovelShort
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Hubert Henson's parents drowned, so his fear of water ran deep, all the way to the bone. After he was brought to live with my family, I sat outside the bathroom door every night while he bathed, keeping him company. For his sake, I never went to the aquarium again, and I didn't even dare to drink water in big gulps. The year of my SATs, I gave up a top art school and stayed here in the city to study psychology instead.
Chapters (4)
第1章
Hubert Henson's parents drowned, and it left him terrified of water. Utterly, completely terrified.
After he came to live with my family, I sat outside the bathroom door every night while he showered.
For him, I never went back to the aquarium. I didn't even dare drink water in big gulps.
The year of the SATs, I turned down a top art school and stayed in the city to study psychology.
All so I could heal what was broken in him.
Until Gertrude Harding came along. For the first time, he refused to let me come with him, and agreed to go white-water rafting with her instead.
I rushed to stop him, and he shoved me away.
"Gigi's right. I'm afraid of water because you never let me face it on my own."
My whole heart dropped into ice.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ellie, you're so careful about everything. It makes me feel like I can't breathe."
I suddenly thought of the acceptance letter I'd set down with my own hands at eighteen.
I sent my teacher a message.
"Teacher, is it still possible to get back on track?"
If he didn't want this anymore, then let everything start over.
1.
"It is."
Two words, and I nearly broke into tears.
Hubert finished settling the rafting date with Gertrude,
then turned and saw my face streaked with tears.
Worry flickered in his eyes.
"Ellie, what's wrong?"
I flinched away from his hand before it could reach my tears.
His hand froze in midair,
and for a long moment he didn't pull it back.
He sighed, helpless. "Ellie, what I said just now wasn't me blaming you."
"It's just... you've protected me too well."
"But I want a taste of freedom too."
Hearing that,
a bitterness spread through my mouth with no edge to it.
My family and the Hensons went back generations, and he and I grew up side by side.
The three of them took a cruise vacation, and something happened out on the open sea.
Out of everyone on that ship, Hubert was the only survivor.
The day my parents brought him home,
he hadn't had water in ages. His lips were cracked and peeling.
The sight of water frightened him. No matter how my parents coaxed him to drink, he wouldn't.
In the end it was me who carefully covered his eyes and slipped a straw to his lips.
After that, my parents put me in charge of caring for him,
and I began to stay by his side without a step's distance between us, day after day.
He was afraid to shower, so I sat outside the bathroom door and talked to him.
As a child I loved swimming most of all, and because Hubert once said he didn't want me to go, I never went again.
He grew up still afraid of water, only he stopped letting it show.
For him, I changed my applications without hesitation and switched to psychology.
Back then, Hubert would always hold my hand.
"Ellie, when I was sinking and rising in the deep, you were the only light on the shore."
And now, in every way he could, he was calling me too controlling.
Gertrude cut in right on cue.
"Miss Fox, I'm not trying to take Hubert from you. I just think he should have thoughts of his own."
"He's afraid of water, so shouldn't he face it? Isn't that all the more reason?"
I opened my mouth, and looked up to find Hubert gazing at Gertrude with nothing but admiration.
As Gertrude and I settled into opposite sides,
Hubert stepped back half a pace and stood beside her.
"Ellie, I think Gigi's right."
A dense, stinging ache crept up around my eyes,
and my throat, choked with emotion, finally forced out the words.
"Hubert, I understand. I won't interfere with you anymore."
His brows knit tight.
"Ellie, saying things out of anger again. I only want to go with Gigi to get better."
Hearing it, all I felt was how absurd it was.
I'd studied psychology all those years, earned all those certificates,
and he didn't believe me. He believed Gertrude's few sentences of nonsense.
Seeing that I stayed silent, Hubert let out a soft sigh, his voice full of helplessness.
"Ellie, let me try. Please?"
I nodded. "Go, then."
第2章
The next morning, I'd barely woken up
when I found Hubert already packed and heading for the door.
He saw me and smiled.
"Ellie, I'm going to work out the rafting details with Gigi today."
Watching how excited he looked,
a raw ache spread through my chest.
There was a time when only plans with me could light Hubert up like that.
Back then, wherever I went, he followed.
His eyes held nothing but me.
He really did treat me as his one salvation.
I hadn't seen that spark in his eyes for years.
I just never imagined
that when I saw it again, it would be because of another woman.
Seeing me go quiet,
Hubert seemed to finally remember something.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, a little rueful.
"Ellie... I'm sorry. I forgot I was supposed to take you shopping today."
Hubert had always been busy since taking over the company,
so I'd made a point of asking him: one day every week set aside to be with me.
Since Gertrude showed up,
I'd lost count of how many times he'd forgotten.
My already aching chest twisted tighter.
Seeing that I wouldn't speak, Hubert sighed.
"How about I bring back your favorite pastries when I'm home?"
The words were barely out when his phone rang.
Gertrude's voice came through from the other end.
"Hubert, why aren't you here yet?"
Hubert answered with only two words.
"Wait for me."
Watching him walk away,
I suddenly thought back to before,
to when I curled up against him watching a movie, pointing at the heroine the hero had abandoned, and asked,
"Will you leave me with nothing but the sight of your back one day too?"
Hubert laughed and hushed my endless chatter.
"No."
"I'll always be right behind you. You'll turn around and I'll be there."
The Hubert of now had forgotten the words he once said.
He went off happily to keep another woman's plans,
and left me far behind him.
It was late when Hubert came home.
He set the box of pastries, gone cold, in my arms.
"Ellie, your favorite. The ones you love most."
I had no urge to open it.
Seeing that, Hubert opened it for me, helpless. "Don't be angry anymore."
But inside the box wasn't my favorite pastry at all.
It was the dessert I hate most.
The smell of it alone turned my stomach.
Hubert quickly patted my back,
then called and demanded, "I told you to buy her favorite pastries. What is this you bought?"
The voice on the other end carried clearly into my ears, every word.
"Mr. Henson, Gigi said she likes that one, so she had me switch the order."
I frowned at him.
"So now you won't even buy me a pastry yourself?"
Hubert sighed, helpless.
"Ellie, I didn't have time today. I was afraid you wouldn't get any, so I sent my assistant."
I fought down the urge to gag and pointed at the dessert.
"Then how do you explain this?"
Hubert defended Gertrude on reflex.
"Gigi didn't know it was for you. She didn't do anything wrong."
Didn't know it was for me?
Hubert had never liked sweets.
When he went to buy pastries, who else could they be for but me?
"Did she really not know, or was she pretending?"
Hubert was getting irritated now.
"Ellie, do you have to fight Gigi over everything?"
"There's a limit to how jealous you can get!"
I didn't want to talk to Hubert anymore.
I just quietly opened my phone and replied to the message my teacher had sent a while ago.
"I'm ready to go abroad with you to study."
第3章
By the time I woke up, Hubert had already left.
I planned to go back to the old estate and bring home the paintings I'd made years ago.
While I was gathering them up, I lifted my head,
and there was the garden of the Henson estate through the window.
Hardly anyone lived at the estate anymore,
but the garden was still full of the lisianthus I loved most, and this was exactly the season when it should be in bloom.
The lisianthus was being dug out, bit by bit, and replaced with rosebushes in tight bud.
I set down the painting in my hands,
walked to the garden gate. "Who told you to clear this out?"
The gardener glanced at me, seeming to recognize me.
"Miss Fox, it was Mr. Henson who told us to clear it."
"He said he was tired of looking at lisianthus and wanted roses, so he had us plant roses instead."
Something occurred to me all at once.
I pulled out my phone and opened Gertrude's feed.
The post pinned to the top
was her holding a bouquet of roses, smiling brightly.
The caption read: Roses are my favorite. My dream is a garden full of roses!
My hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Years ago, when I used to paint in the studio, Hubert would sit there and keep me company.
I offhandedly complained once that this garden looked so bare,
and the next year, Hubert led me to it with a mysterious little smile,
and showed me a garden full of blooms.
He stood among the flowers, and the look he gave me was full of love.
"Ellie, whatever you say offhand, I'll make it happen for you."
After that, the garden became our secret place.
We would read here, have picnics,
and sometimes, when we were bored, the two of us would just lie here quietly for a whole afternoon.
But now, every last stalk of lisianthus had been swapped out for roses.
A gust of wind passed through, and the memories vanished along with the lisianthus.
I'd already lost all hope in Hubert, yet seeing this
my heart still couldn't help but ache.
I picked the last lisianthus,
the one Hubert had given me as a gift when he was fifteen.
When I got home with the paintings and that single lisianthus,
Hubert was already back.
Seeing me come in, he pressed a bouquet of roses into my arms.
"Ellie, last night was my fault. Don't be angry anymore, all right?"
I looked at the roses in my arms, lush and dripping with color,
and suddenly all the fight went out of me.
Every last bit of feeling drained away in that moment.
"Hubert, I never liked roses."
Hubert froze at that, his eyes falling to the lisianthus in my hand.
"Ellie……"
But I didn't want to deal with him anymore. I just carried the paintings back to my room.
I'd stopped doing art,
but the home Hubert and I shared still kept a studio.
I carefully set the paintings inside it.
When I came back out,
Gertrude had shown up at some point,
smiling at Hubert.
"Hubert, I told you to bring Miss Fox roses and apologize. Did she accept?"
So it turned out the roses had been her idea too.
Hubert was about to shake his head when he caught sight of me.
"Ellie, Gigi and I have to leave early tomorrow, so she's staying at the house tonight."
Gertrude smiled and thanked me.
"Sorry to intrude, Miss Fox."
I said nothing. I only lowered my head and glanced at my phone,
the screen showing the ticketing app,
the flight for tomorrow afternoon.
第4章
Gertrude's eyes settled on the painting in my hands.
It was my favorite one.
The rest would go into the suitcase tomorrow with everything else,
but this one I wanted to carry close.
"Miss Fox paints? May I see it?"
I stepped back and refused outright.
"Sorry. I don't like people looking at my paintings."
I thought Gertrude would let it go,
but instead her eyes went red as she turned to Hubert.
"Hubert, is Miss Fox always this forceful? No wonder she just wants to keep you away from water."
"But if it's like this, when are you ever going to get better?"
Hubert heard her out, lifted his eyes to me, and let out a soft sigh.
"Ellie, let Gigi see it. She's only curious."
"Didn't you used to love showing people your paintings?"
Before I could say anything,
Gertrude's eyes went redder still. "Miss Fox, you like letting people see your paintings. You just don't want me to see them?"
"You really can't stand me, can you?"
"But all I wanted was for Hubert to get better…"
I watched Gertrude finish her performance in silence,
then turned to leave, only for Hubert to catch my hand.
"Ellie, be good. Let Gigi have a look."
With that, he pulled the painting out of my hand
and held it out to Gertrude.
Gertrude spread it open on the table.
It was a boy and a girl making a wish under a night sky.
Looking at it, I thought back to that time.
We were still young then,
too young to know a shooting star can't really grant a wish.
All I knew was that a meteor shower was coming, and you had to make a wish,
so I pulled Hubert out into the garden with me.
The moment I opened my eyes, he was watching me, grinning.
"Ellie, what did you wish for?"
"I wished we could be together forever…"
I rushed to cover his mouth. "Don't say it out loud. If you say it, it won't come true."
The truth was, my wish had been
for Hubert to get better.
Just as I was lost in the memory, Gertrude let out a startled cry.
Her hand knocked over the cup beside her,
and the tea soaked through the paper fast.
Gertrude apologized without stopping. "Miss Fox, I'm so sorry…"
Fumbling to clean it up, she pressed down too hard,
and the already-soaked painting tore straight into pieces.
I shoved her away.
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
Gertrude wept prettily. "I'm sorry, Miss Fox, I really didn't mean to…"
Hubert's eyes fell on the girl's face in the painting.
"Ellie, Gigi didn't mean it…"
My hand stopped where it was gathering up the painting,
my fingers landing right on Hubert's face in the picture.
Say the wish out loud, and it really doesn't come true.
I stood, dropped every torn piece of the painting into the trash,
and turned back to my room.
When Hubert came knocking, I was packing.
"Ellie, don't be angry anymore."
He knocked for a long time. I never opened the door.
After a while, the knocking faded and stopped.
I finished packing everything and lay back down on the bed.
I didn't sleep all night.
Hubert and Gertrude left early.
When I came out of the bedroom, the roses in the living room had, at some point, been replaced with lisianthus.
I gave them a single glance,
went to the studio and gathered all my paintings, then dragged my suitcase out without looking back.
…
Hubert and Gertrude stood at the rafting entrance,
watching the churning water,
and all at once he remembered the day his parents drowned, the fear spreading endlessly through him.
Gertrude pulled him onto the raft with her,
and when the waves crashed over them,
the last thing in Hubert's mind before he lost consciousness was Eleanor's face.
When he woke on the hospital bed,
Hubert paid no attention at all to Gertrude beside him and got home as fast as he could.
He wanted to see Eleanor.
But the moment he pushed the door open, the place was empty.
Everything that had been Eleanor's was gone.
The blood drained completely from Hubert's face.